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Bow down before the power of my cock ... such as it is
by effenheimer at 04:20 PM on March 14, 2003
I recently made great strides in the "quit being such a pushover with women" category. For years, any red-headed freak I ran into could just ask me for stuff and escalate and escalate until I was available at their beck and call and STILL not getting any pussy.
This has caused me great shame and ruined some friendships with people it is ultimately better not to be friends with but with whom I feel I could have enjoyed alifelong friendship had I merely been more of a real man instead of a big girl's blouse who would molly coddle anyone at 3 am no matter what I had to do the next day.
A little 19 year old friend of mine recently pushed me over the edge. She used to call me day and night with the stories of her sexual exploits, which would have been fine had it not been for the fact that they were genuinely unhealthy, drug induced experiences with guys who were taking advantage of her.
I stuck with her trying to get her on the straight and narrow, into AA, away from the freaks she thought were her friends. I succeeded and thought I had a good friend worth keeping. Then one day, she comes to my house from out of town with several of her AA friends. They are attending a regional AA conference in my neck of the woods and made no arrangements for a hotel. They were going to go camping but left it until late so I offered to let them sleep in my house if they wanted. they accepted.
That was the last I heard of my friend for months. My suspicion is that one of her AA buddies thought it quite odd that she had a big fat old creepy guy like me for a "friend". I am sure the 19 year old control freak convinced her I wad influence in spite of the fact that I am probably the only guy in the world who didnt just bend her over a garbage can and fuck her stupid when she was drunk. and believe me, I could have, but I'm not really that guy.
months went by. calls went unanswered. One day i was in her neck of the woods and rang her bell. she answered the intercom and I said hey its me let me in. she shuts off the intercom and wont answer the bell or her phone. the last message i left her was "I dont know what that crazy shit was about but you can call me when you are prepared to tell me."
Four months go by and I finally get a call at the worst possible moment. what do I get? Lies. I didnt KNOW it was you then when I realized it was you i was too embarrassed to call and I am supposed to be avoiding confrontations in AA and I thought you were the mexican drug dealer who screwed me once cause your voices sound similar and blah blah blah.
the last thing I ever told her was i don't buy that... click.
It kind of hurts but then sometimes the healing process does. In many ways I have been a professional victim for these chicks to do things to me no other man would allow. I mean, what man with any kind of self respect would let a woman use him and not expect sex? very few.
Recently, a woman of my acauaintence started pulling the sameold shit on me. Can I borrow a quarter, I am hungry bnut i dont have any money. It got worse until one day, I set up a story we could both work on because I knew she found the subject cool. She couldnt go because her kids birthday was that day and I had to hedar about it for two weeks, then she was going to have to leave early and THEN she wanted me to drive her there and then drive her back... early... and then GO BACK to the event after I dropped her off.
What do you think I said to that? OK. Fuckin dildo. The upside is that when I showed up to pick her up she was late. 10 minutes late to be exact and i said fuck it, I'm going. I left her a message and said I'm off. she called me five minutes later to bitch at me and I told her to fuck off and drive herself like an adult. when she showed up, she tried to guilt me. I refused to give in and told her, "you arent making me apologize, its bad enough you want me to cart you areound like a god damn cb driver, then youre late? WE ARENT MARRIED, LADY, I don't have to give a shit so you can either cheer the fuck up since you havent missed anythying or you can leave cause this is work, but I intend to have fun."
Sad as it is. this is like the first time in my life I feel like I have really taken control in a situation like this and tis still pretty sad since I shouldnt have let it get as far as it did.
this is part and parcel of the same old "why don't nice girls like me" bullshit. i know the answer to that one, but maybe a couple of you ladies could confirm for me that this is just some good old fashioned sadism thing, that some vagi-thugs just love to see how powerful the pussy really is.
comments (17)
A pushover is a pushover, male or female (and there are both kinds). Have some dignity man, and don't get involved with people carrying freight trains of baggage.
I don't think these women all realize what they do, but part of that is their denial of the little voice of reason. It's easy to tune out this voice when someone seems to be a bottomless pit of giving.
by Linz at March 14, 2003 4:47 PM
There is no such thing as a good girl these days. They just want the guy from the movies, but then all of a sudden, when confronted with a gentleman in Real Life, they run like pussies. I don't get it either Eff. Keep you good guy friends, and just remember the itsybitsy spider.... once the sun comes out, try again... You compassion is what kills you, but like Lockheed, you can't control your compassion...consider a Crown of Thorns, my friend.
by LOCKHEED at March 14, 2003 5:25 PM
I know writers are underpaid, whether they're screenwriters or columnists like you. But the worst thing is that there's no writer-groupies. This world needs writer-groupies.
by Anna at March 14, 2003 6:58 PM
yeah!
you should go on tour. and you'd have a desk and we could all sit in the audience and watch you type.
and then, of course, the sex. because why else have groupies?!?
by capitalj at March 14, 2003 11:30 PM
Certain writers have groupies. I was at the Barnes and Nobles at Union Square a couple weeks ago and there were a bunch of people milling about, who weren't your normal milling around Barnes and Noble types. Seems they were waiting in line to meet Hunter S. Thompson, who was speaking there. It was about 4, the lecture didn't start 'till 7:30, and there were already about 100 people there. I'd call anyone who'd wait around 3+ hours to see an author a groupie. And a loser.
by mg at March 15, 2003 12:19 AM
Amen, MG. By definition, a groupie lacks self-esteem. For a good laugh, I'd recommend Pamela de Barre's (sp) I'm With the Band. What a whore.
by Anna at March 15, 2003 8:56 AM
Hey, there are women who appreciate Good Guys (TM). I was dating one, then he dumped me. So, :P. Guys suck. :)
(Sorry, it's too early to be truly coherent).
by Jen at March 15, 2003 9:33 AM
If you see the issue-ridden, run like hell. The "nice girls" are sometimes the ones with the most issues, though they express differently. It sounds like you want genuine women and unfortunately are hard to find.
by überchick at March 15, 2003 2:27 PM
I was thinking about how all my "nice" guy friends have had their spirits crushed by evil women. And then, I thought about all my "nice" female friends, and how they've gotten their spirits crushed by evil men. One gets the impression that nice guys and gals never hook up, and evil gals and evil guys never hook up. Which is silly, I then realized. In terms of evil / evil, either one person is so evil that the other comes off looking nice, or they are just both so sick they end up in a murder suicide. And when nice / nice get together, well, you never hear about that because it's boring as hell. Like when someone asks you how your doing, and things are going okay so you just say "Fine," but when things are going shitty, you have to go into the whole story about your operation, and getting evicted and blah blah blah. We only hear about the total disaster of a relationships because we don't want to hear about the other stuff.
by mg at March 15, 2003 5:47 PM
hell dump her if shes only using you but for god sakes this woman might actually care for you hang in there a little bit longer if not thier are other fish in the sea its probably one of those god damn test women are always giving you
by Gaundi at March 17, 2003 1:08 AM
there are writer groupies, in a way, even at this level. its like guys in crappy local bands can still score with their crappy local fans because chicks dig it when i guy puts himself out there in public, its a turn on for some deep seated evolutionary reason like i trip that trigger that says I'd make a good father and supplier of venison.
i am a pushover, there is no doubt about that and chicks can smell it. I in no way mean to impune the ranks of the good and decent and I apologize and like MG said, its the bad that gets more attention. it does fascinate me how weird people are. not just the kind of women i was talking about but what is MY deal that I am in such need of attention that allow myself to be a tool. It IS my fault in the end because when someone makes an unreasonable request, you should look at them like they are fuckedin the head and then tell them as much. if you don't of course they are going to use you.
by eff at March 17, 2003 12:20 PM
Um... maybe you're not getting any pussy because you're the kind of person who uses phrases such as "not getting any pussy."
by Ralph at March 17, 2003 5:02 PM
Brilliant.
Brings up an interesting point. Is it to talk about women as objects in the company of men, but think of them as people in your interactions with them? I know some guys who act very guyish about women around other guys, but who are caring and sensetive otherwise. Is it possible to be both?
by mg at March 17, 2003 5:49 PM
Um... the post wasn't about me complaining that I am not getting any pussy, the post was about the fucked up one-way friendships I have with women and how at the center of it all I am really to blame for allowing such things as late night phone calls and other abuses to escalate. Most men would not put forth such effort or put up with such crap from anyone unless they were in an involved, mature relationship that included a sexual component, otherwise known as deep dick action.
as for me "being the kind of person" who blah blah blah... I find it untenable to sum me up because of one phrase especially in THIS CONTEXT. I would hope the men and women on this site who use many a wide variety of phrases both vulgar and sublime would see a certain honesty underlying the phraseology. I don't try to carefully choose words and phrases to create an image of myself as a sweet and senstive guy. If I weren't a sweet and sensitive guy, would I have women calling me at 3 am like I was the god damned crisis hotline to cry all over me, ask my advice and tell me about the guys they do screw who do a hell of a lot worse than use phrases like "gettin any pussy?"
The occasional blithe dismissal aside, i actually find the feedback on here to be quite useful and astute from a "craft" perspective as well as a personal one.
by eff at March 18, 2003 10:08 AM
You know, ever since women demanded eual righta nd were grated afore mentioned, they ahve played both sides of the coin. But I guess that is what America is about these days. Evreyone feels a right of entitlement. Things don't go my way, I'll sue! That's the America is now. Fuck the other guy!
Sad but true. The assholes will continue to ruin the world until there is no one to take advantage of and then when the everything crumbles around them they will shake thier heads and have no clue as to what went wrong! But I dugress...
The females lead the charge in what i am writing about. But men are to blame for buying into there shit.
Makes a strong point for being gay. Not that that is an easy road either.
Fuck it all, we're doomed. Humans were the biggest mistake G_D ever made. Hopefully it will all end soon.
Jack
by Jack at March 18, 2004 4:21 AM
I guess it can all depend on what your definition of "nice guy" is. Is a nice guy a fellow who has a martyr syndrome (lets people walk all over him and then gets pissed at them for doing it)? Is a nice guy a guy who thinks that the only good reason to do something for another person would be the potential for sex in the future? Is a nice guy one who misrepresents his intentions towards women, trying to use emotional manipulation and a facade of friendship as an excuse to get closer to women and score with them? Or is a nice guy just the guy who DOESN'T do something shitty to a woman (i.e. hit her, rape her, use her for sex, leave her pregnant, etc.)--because I was under the impression that it took more than just NOT being a selfish asshole to be decent?
I think being a "nice guy" is like being really smart, straight, very attractive, sexually open, or not racist. . . .if you have to TELL everyone that you are, then you're not. Because the person you really need to convince isn't everyone else, it's you.
by Ja at February 26, 2005 3:15 PM
Good point Ja.
I agree you must be happy to become a nice guy, and you can'y just accomplish it by telling everyone. But doesn't what other people think matter a little?
Your own self image is never going to quite the same as you imagine it, or everyone would understand and empathize in every situation. But just because I have myself convinced that I am a nice guy, who is to say I am not deluding myself? To be that nice guy, the one everyone likes (aka Ferris Bueller) you really do need to worry about what other people think. Every action you take in life changes the way somebody perceives you (unless you are absolutely alone).
by dominathan at February 27, 2005 12:48 AM