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There is a whole lotta Greek goin' on in this one
by effenheimer at 01:45 PM on January 24, 2003
“Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.” – George Orwell
“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” – Kris Kristopherson
Question. What are we so angry about?
The answer? C’MON Y’ALL IT’S TIME TO GET NICE!
Yeah, that’ll happen.
I love it when people write letters to the editor responding to my last column and claim they stopped reading it nearly a year ago. Who do they think they’re kidding? I quote Judd Nelson from one of the greatest teen flicks of all time, “The Breakfast Club,” when I say, Sweets, you couldn’t ignore me if you tried.
Alison Moyet should be much more famous than she is. Conversely, Christina Aguilera’s own mother shouldn’t be able to pick her out of a lineup.
American cheese really isn’t that bad. Unfortunately, the average American has only ever had processed American cheese food singles that don’t count as American cheese or even as cheese. In truth, American cheese is a mild cheddar that doesn’t come wrapped in plastic sheets and next to impossible to get because everyone thinks American cheese is actually that stuff in the plastic. It’s a shame really.
You don’t have to be gay to love Judy Garland, but it helps.
Be careful who you pretend to be, because, ultimately, you are who you pretend to be.
I wonder if the people who remind us that no one said life was supposed to be fair will be as open-minded when they are the first ones against the wall when the revolution comes? I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say no.
I could never live outside of the Midwest. It isn’t the people, the weather or the high quality of life so much as it is the Taco John’s. There really is a whole lot of Mexican goin’ on there. If I had a gyro place, I would call it Gyro Greg’s and my advertising campaign would be “There’s a whole lotta Greek goin’ on, goin’ on at Gyro Greg’s.”
Anti-depressants really aren’t happy pills, they just deaden everything so you can function normally. Anti-depressants are like gloves for people with extra-sensitive hands. Ecstasy on the other hand...
I can’t concentrate. Could I be pregnant?
Whatever happened to “Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place?” Is that show still on or did I just dream it?
I don’t have the kind of money it takes to be really sadistic to people. Thank God for reality shows. I am particularly fond of “Meet my Folks” for its heavy-handed, unabashedly misogynistic format.
Apparently, the greatest advancement for women since the push-up bra is a pad with velcro on it. I didn’t even realize the push-up bra was considered one of the greatest advancement for women. I thought that honor might go to something like birth control, voting rights or the right to own property. I guess I was wrong.
comments (2)
First, I thought Janis Joplin coined the term "Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” Just goes to show I don't know what the hell is going on.
Speaking of being ignorant, I thought American cheese was the stuff in plastic. I always refuse to eat it because I am a cheese snob. But since you've proven me wrong I will have to give it another chance. Besides mom says in melts better. She also says "who told you life was fair." Hmm, perhaps this is a sign.
I live in Texas but have experienced the Taco John. Must agree, there isn't anything like it anywhere else. I consider their potatolés to be an anti-depressant of sorts. And if you eat enough of them you could end up looking pregnant (Or at least I would). “Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place?” I think the girl got married to the mob and boys are living on the island of hedonism as lovers. Oh wait, that WAS a dream I had the other night.
And finally, I'd say the greatest advancement in this woman's life was neither the push-up or the Velcro winged pad, but a little pink friend that goes buzz. Oh and voting rights, birth control blah blah blah...etc.
by sydney at January 24, 2003 5:15 PM
They shortened the clunky title to Two Guys and A Girl but still it bombed. It's probably in syndication somwhere. And speaking of advances for women, I saw a special on the newly liberated chicks of Afghanistan. Most of whom could prance around bare-faced if they wanted to. But they don't. Creatures of habit, I guess. Long live the burqa.
by Anna at January 24, 2003 6:38 PM