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Suck and swallow like the filthy whore you are (not about strippers)
by effenheimer at 09:41 PM on January 11, 2003
Now, if there is one thing I know, it’s that people hate to be made to think especially when they might be made to think “hey, I’m a hypocrite.” If there are two things I know it is that fried pie is good.
Perhaps the single most important thing we can do as right-thinking, spiritually advanced sentient beings – besides enjoy fried pie – is to know ourselves, justify our moral beliefs and act according to a standard of behavior that can be equitably applied to all moral individuals. When we fail to live up to our own standards, we SHOULD be ashamed. We SHOULD feel guilty. We SHOULD change. Otherwise, what’s the point of religion, philosophy and mothers?
When confronted by challenges to our morality, we rationalize. We blame others. We attack examples. We expose the politics of our enemy. We don’t try to live up to our own standards, though.
I remember after 9/11, everyone was utterly willing to make any sacrifice to help out. Now encouraging fuel efficiency makes you a suspect. Hmmmmmm. Why is that? I guess it's OK to abandon our civil liberties, but let's not save money, let's not stop hogging oil. That goes against everything our corporate leaders fought so hard for in the 1970s. Gimme a break. This country is a whore being pimped out by greasy-fisted money men who will sell anything to anybody and call themselves patriots because capitalism replaced democracy as our raison d'etre a long time ago.
comments (10)
Well said, EFF. cheers. socratic method. Timeless device to realize oneself. But who truly is strong enough to engage in such. I, LOCKHEED, I AM.
Now... it comes as no surpise how Capitalism no longer goes hand in hand with Democracy. Nor does Socialism have as much to do with Communism as it once did... I must say... I am at the end of my thread... Please... carry on the good fight... let me rephrase that... carry on the PROPER fight... thank you, EFF, LINZ, MG, ANNA... I see the light.... it's warm, like they say...it really is...
by LOCKHEED at January 11, 2003 10:01 PM
What? It really wasn't about strippers! Personally, for every civil liberty I lose, I choose to go out and consume more useless goods. The second amendment gone (not one of my favorites) and I might consider shopping at Old Navy. The fourth amendment gone, and I'll be out buying a new Ford. The first, and I might even be tempted to invest in some real estate.
by mg at January 12, 2003 12:27 AM
Okay. I have no idea how to follow the previous two thread posts. So, the best I can do is this: STRIPPERS well, it's 139, and I just got back from LACE on Broadway and like 45th or something(near Barcode, MG would know), and spent about 600dollars to Weep on some Czechoslovakian girl's shoulder. Yes. She wanted to dance and strip. I said no. Just listen. Listen she did. And I parted my way... never seeing any flesh... saw only heart.
by LOCKHEED at January 12, 2003 1:41 AM
That's a big "SHOULD." I've spent years agonizing over social proprieties such as honesty, punctuality, and not kicking the shit out of people who ask me if "everything came out alright" when I return from the bathroom. It's gotten me nowhere--most people simply do not adhere to the ideals they profess to hold so dear. My favorite hypocrites are the *real* liberals--California "Uber Alles" liberals, compelled to let everyone know just how repulsed they are by any thought outside the realm of their PC sphere. Then they'll make fun of the way Asians drive.
This post-9/11 climate really does reek of another "Red" scare. Could it have something to do with which political party occupies the White House? Sure. Would it change if some bleeding-heart was there instead? No. To paraphrase Eff, the country was bought and paid for some time ago. But where else are you going to live? I hear Bosnia is nice this time of year--while you're there, let me know what REAL racism and social injustices are like.
One more thing--enough with this "oil" shit. It's here to stay. The electric car is not around the corner, and this country is pretty big. Yeah, Bush and Cheney are big oil guys--big deal. This was always common knowledge, and they still won the election (albeit with a slight nudge from the electoral college). Blame the fucking voters for once--they elected a wealthy mongoloid who was obviously going to implement more big business upon assuming office. Furthermore, what are these countries going to export if the US stops buying oil. Is there a burgeoning sand market I'm unaware of?
by douchenation at January 12, 2003 1:45 AM
Jesus Christ, Lockheed--I thought you were done with Lace. There is nothing quite like a girl who listens with her pocketbook.
by douchenation at January 12, 2003 1:49 AM
I own 2 cars: A Geo Metro that gets 55 mpg and a massive SUV that gets gallons-per-mile. Maybe I'm paranoid but ever since this gas guzzling=terrorism thing arose, I feel as if fellow motorists perceive and treat me differently depending on which car I drive. "So far it hasn't surfaced but I'm sure it exists. It just takes a while to travel from your head to your fists." Eff- love your title.
by Anna at January 12, 2003 8:14 AM
Where's the BadSam SUNDAY article? My fucking coffee reading? C'mon guys! I don't want to have to flip on CNN. Post something! I know MG is getting all nervous about Grad School, so fine, but all the other writers... sheesh, it's Sunday in America, please write some kind of article for Lockheed to digest.
by LOCKHEED at January 12, 2003 3:09 PM
this post was a shorter, raunchier version of my regular newspaper column. that column was three times as long and got into the whole arianna huffinton anti suv ads. it also didn't involve swearing.
long story short (TOO LATE!), i got an email from arianna huffington today (probably an assistant, but still) thanking me for the column. now THAT is fun.
by eff at January 13, 2003 11:39 AM
I just saw one of those SUV ads. (The ones about pot pissed me off more, I must say). "George" filling his gas tank is not willingly supporting terrorism. [What's also funny is how the commercial itself acknowledges how tenuous the link is between a guy buying fuel and terrorist cells ("this is the blah that blah diddy blah that blah diddy blah" and so on).] Using that logic, anyone in an automobile, on a riding lawnmower, or boat--no matter what mileage it gets, is similarly culpable. If that's the case, is there really a "lesser degree" of supporting terrorism? [After all, doesn't Jerry Lewis always insist that "every contribution, big or small, is equally important" or something like that on his agonizingly depressing telethon?] By the way, no one supports terrorism faster than Jeff Gordon.
To me, the problem with SUVs is their "Burberry Plaid" trendiness, not their fuel economy; these vehicles only serve a real purpose for relatively few people. While we're at it, we may as well implicate every shipping company in the nation--I understand fueling the fleets of trucks employed by FedEX and UPS alone funded the entire September 11 attacks.
This is a desparate, vague, and bone-headed campaign against arbitrary enemies (SUVs and their drivers). If you need someone to bag on, try the trouser streaks driving around Manhattan in a Hummer H2. What are they going to do, drive up the side of a building? Also, I think the guy who sold me my car, which allowed me to drive to Taco Bell, which allowed me to order a burrito, which allowed me to satisy my hunger, is responsible for the farts I ripped later.
by douchenation at January 16, 2003 3:48 AM
these commercials recognize the lack of moral equivalance. they are satirical because they were first and foremost proposed because the POT COMMERCIALS were so ridiculous to begin with.
the point they are trying to make that is getting lost because opponents keep trying to spin this into some kind of one for one, take it literally kind of commercial, is that as a nation we should be more interested in fuel effeciency and we arent/ SUVS do indeed represent the height of the american unwillingness to think about how we live and how HOW we live affects events.
We all have to drive, but we don't have to drive gas guzzling status symbols, we don't have to ratinalze our choices with BS (SUVs arent safer, they are just pure luxury) and huffington herself does advocate alternatives like hybrid cars that could be made affordable, the tech has been around since 1905 for god's sake.
by eff at January 17, 2003 4:35 PM