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sleep with one eye open
by goose at 12:05 AM on November 08, 2002
Ever get that demonic eyelid twitch?
I'm just about ready to call an exorcist for this, as the Ghostbusters are sure have their schedules full. It certainly doesn't bother me that exorcists are all fakers. I’m always a sucker for the placebo effect, especially when it involves any amount of hand waving. Spinning heads are optional but encouraged in my book.
But my lid demons are genuine. They're trying to burst out of my skull through my eye socket but not quite making it. Stupid vibrating demons.
Stupid coffee. One way I judge my personal wellness is by the magnitude of my sleep-to-coffee ratio, and it's been steadily decreasing all this week. I discovered java only about a month ago, when some cool kids I know started doing it, and I just wanted to fit in. Up until then, I had adhered to a strict Just Say No to Coffee policy, especially for the abomination that is coffee ice cream. It tries to imitate chocolate but fails, and the other 30 flavors laugh and kick the shit out of it when the freezer is closed. That wasn't for me.
Twitch. Coffee just isn't an effective shut-eye substitute. Each cup doesn't equal one hour of regained slumber. Furthermore, mixing in some cream, sugar, and/or Red Bull isn't like adding dreams. In short, Juan Valdez ain't the Sandman.
Twitch twitch twitch. Everything goes up and down just a little bit. It's rather disturbing because I'm from Southern California and we have these things where the ground really does oscillate, and so I'm emotionally shaken.
But I’m fine now. I think it's stopped.
Twitch.
comments (8)
Oh man i got that thing the other day, and i hate it because always at the back of my mind i'm thinking, what if it never goes away? Funny, though, I'd never connected it with the fact that I'd just drunk a stack of coffee.
by tim at November 8, 2002 1:15 AM
I just discovered that beer neutralizes it.
by Goose at November 8, 2002 1:56 AM
This is usually the part where I get all high and mighty, judging and turning my nose up at you for intoducing unhealthy substances to your body. Alas, I cannot without being a hypocrite, as I too am addicted. I don't like coffee but I love coffee ice cream, which, btw, is NOT trying to imitate chocolate.
by Lucy at November 8, 2002 12:42 PM
Yeah, I think the other ice cream flavors are too busy beating the hell out of pistachio and bubblegum to worry about coffee.
by Shar at November 8, 2002 2:28 PM
Heh. Lucy said she gets "high."
And yeah Shar, I haven't seen bubblegum in a while. I hear it was beaten to death and is now being held in cryonic cold storage until scientists figure out a way to revive it.
by Goose at November 8, 2002 4:08 PM
I get that thing. It's a sign of low potassium. Just eat a banana and you'll feel better.
by Gordon at November 10, 2002 9:39 AM
But seriously folks, :)
I just had one go away. I usually grind my coffee beans. I ran out and got a brick of Folgers. I just finished the brick and went back to beans and the tic went away.
Caffeine or maybe something else in the Folgers?
Ty Ford
by Ty at June 9, 2005 7:41 AM
fuck u, no one cares bout ur gay adventures go fuck a cow, who the fuck cares u have a twictch, i was with ur mom lat ngiht she was tight hahah "laughs"
by moocow at May 23, 2006 6:41 AM