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by mg at 12:56 PM on November 05, 2002
I will not be voting this year.
No, that felony conviction hasn’t finally caught up with me. I just don’t want to vote.
Since I turned 18, I’ve only missed one general election, in 2000. I only missed that one because it was the first year since I’d moved back to New York City and the Board of Elections never bothered to send me a confirmation letting me know that they were indeed allowing me to vote in their fine state, and if so, where.
Every other year, I’ve been out there, casting ballots like Rick Clunn casting for bass. But, I won’t be out there this year. I’ll be lying on my couch at home, wearing a dirty wife-beater and drinking Schlitz, like Rick Clunn the rest of the year.
So, this being a really important sort of year in the history of the world (but, really, what year isn’t?), why am I abstaining? Quite simply, besides for the gubernatorial race (and at this point Pataki is as sure a bet as the Pam Anderson Kid Rock marriage lasting less time than Push, Nevada), I don’t know a damn thing about any of the candidates.
I’ll admit, in the past I’ve voted without knowing anything about certain candidates, how else do you think we ended up with Kaiser Wilhelm? I sure learned my lesson from that mistake, and I vowed never to vote for anyone just because they had the same party affiliation or I liked their haircut.
If I’m going to vote, I want to be responsible about. I don’t really take responsibility for much else in my life…
<dream sequence>
Phone Rings
MG, answering phone: Hello!
MG’s babies’ momma: Is that you Michael?
MG: Uh, Michael doesn’t live here anymore.
MG’s babies’ momma: That is you!
MG: No it isn’t me. MG is dead. I moved.
MG’s babies’ momma: When you gonna come around? Lil’ MG needs diapers.
etc…
</dream sequence>
…so the least I could do is vote responsibly. So, that is the reason I am not voting this year. That and I don’t want to have to wait on line after work, Buffy is on tonight.
comments (7)
Okay, your excuse is valid.
So what is your excuse for not loggin' your lazy ass on the Internet and doing some research? Huh?
:o)
Voting is cool.
by Sydney at November 5, 2002 1:48 PM
BUTT
by Eviltom at November 5, 2002 1:51 PM
Thanks, as always Tom, for the insightful political commentary.
by mg at November 5, 2002 2:17 PM
Just like I promised I wouldn't do, I think I am going to vote without doing any research, cause it's all close in Georgia and I think Republicans are the devil and Democrats are only like, uh, demons.
Feel free to start chucking large objects my way.
by Linz at November 5, 2002 3:37 PM
No objects going your way Linz - at LEAST you are voting....*ahem*
MG's Dream Analogy:
Mg wants a baby.
...and what does that have to do with your vote?
:-)
by Pristine at November 5, 2002 6:39 PM
I'm sorry, MG, but you're excuse is NOT valid. Oh how I regret not visiting this site earlier today. I could've told you all about the best way to make an electoral decision. So here it is, for future reference:
Say you have to elect a District County Judge. First you go around town (you don't have to go out of your way, just while conducting your everyday business) and look out for publicity signs. Take notice of the name of the candidate and picture a foreingner asking you "Who's your C.D.J?" Then picture yourself answering "Judge 'Insert-Name-On-Publicity-Sign-Here'" See? THATS how you should make a decision when you lack enough info on the candidates and the Party-Affiliation and or Haircut methods just aren't good enough.
by Lucy at November 6, 2002 12:50 AM
Why the shame in not voting? The candidates thrust upon the American public each year come from the same pool of slime. When they get in, they have thousands of contributors waiting to cash in their favors. Civic duty my ass. And as far as that "can't bitch if you don't vote" bullshit is concerned, try and stop me. I'm too self-absorbed to complain about pressing world issues anyway. I'm not part of society (thank you, New York City), I have no friends (surprise surprise), and I have never-nor will I ever, vote. Hell, I ran for class office in HS and didn't even vote for myself. Thank you.
by douchenation at December 15, 2002 1:27 PM