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i am jack’s conspiracy theory
by mg at 12:49 AM on October 04, 2002
In my nightly quest to get to bed early I invariably fail.
The Internet, a good book, TV, these are sleep’s foes.
Tonight I got sucked into the later of those narcoleptic nemeses because Edward Norton was on David Letterman.
I’ve loved Norton (as an actor) since American History X. He seems like a nice enough person, and his commentary on the Fight Club DVD was insightful and funny, and not just in comparison to the observations of über hunk/über dunce Brad Pitt.
But, anyway, Norton was talking about what he did this summer, part of it involved hanging out with his girlfriend,
Salma Hayek (the lucky bastard). The rest of his summer was spent on taking flying lessons, in an attempt to get his pilot’s license.
Am I the only one to notice an abundance of movie stars with pilot’s licenses? Harrison Ford, John Travolta, and Tom Cruise all spring instantly spring to mind. As I was sitting there watching Norton talk about lessons and flight simulators and whatnot, and I wondered aloud, “What is the deal with that?”
Then it hit me like a ton of falling debris; the terrorists are planning on using our own movie stars as weapons against us, and not just in a mind numbing 1984 sort of way, but as actually weapons. When the day of reckoning comes, there will be more actors falling from the sky than there are at Chicken Little’s on Oscar night.
How could no one have recognized this plot before? Is the CIA aware of these diabolical machinations? Shouldn’t someone email Tom Ridge?
comments (5)
Huh? You lost me at Edward Norton.
See, I've loved Edward Norton (as a whole) ever since he did People vs. Larry Flint. *swoon*
SALMA Hayeck is one lucky bitch.
by Lucy at October 4, 2002 1:04 AM
Holy crap, you've cracked it! Alert the feds!
We could do without Travolta, but losing Norton to the other side would be bad indeed. Someone must journey to Hollywood (or New York, or wherever he is) and deprogram him. Apparently Lucy is the one for the job.
by Adam at October 4, 2002 8:59 AM
:D
by Lucy at October 4, 2002 11:01 AM
OMG, that cracked me up. I liked Ed Norton in Primal Fear, or whatever it was called, with Richard Gere. Damn, he had me fooled!
by trish at October 4, 2002 1:31 PM
I could stand for the loss of a few scientologists, though. Freaks.
by Linz at October 4, 2002 3:03 PM