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ya see? ya gotta sass it!
by unanon at 01:20 AM on August 08, 2002
Fame, as you may have heard but not known first-hand, is a strange and mystifying beast. They don’t teach you anything about dealing with fame in school, in much the same way they tiptoe around the mechanics of cortius, or whatever the Latin word for sex is.
As I have mentioned many times, I am an electronic musician, and I work pretty darn hard to promote myself. Admittedly, a lot of people put in a good word for me to those that count in the music world, but then again, they probably wouldn’t be doing so if they thought it would be a waste of their time.
Anyway, all this publicity and hype is turning into recognition. So far, I’m getting enough recognition to make myself feel pretty good, but not enough for me to feel hassled. Sure, fame does have it’s costs, but considering I have taken precautions to ensure that I can still walk down the street without having people try to rip patches of my clothes to treasure as mementos of our crossing of paths, I figure I’ll gain more than I lose.
Combined with the fact that I am no longer driving myself crazy thinking about certain members of the opposite sex, I am now free to impress people at parties by talking about how talented I am, and clapping with one hand.
While it is usually the fame bit that grabs the fish’s attention, it is the one hand clapping that gets them to take the bait. In fact, I managed to get the phone number of somebody I didn’t know at a party last weekend, all by clapping with one hand.
Let me clarify this a little: I started clapping with one hand, and this chick said, “hey, you’re an interesting guy… want my phone number?” Of course, a few moments later she mentioned that she would be leaving for Japan within the week, but if had been sober enough to think straight, I would probably have started clapping with one hand again to get her to stay.
While this newfound skill (the picking up using the one-handed clapping, not the one handed clapping itself) has yet to result in bunky, it made great conversation material for my radio interview yesterday. Yes, I was on radio. Because I’m famous. People want to hear about famous people’s love lives. I’m just giving the public what they want. Aren’t I nice?
comments (6)
do you mind if I steal that one-hand clapping thing & try to use it to bolster my own quest for fame? I daresay we run in different music circles, so it would be years before anyone discovered that I stole it from you & by then we would both be so famous we could pooh-pooh all the tabloids that might try to ruin us. c'mon, give a girl a hand. one hand.
by Linz at August 8, 2002 9:43 AM
i'm pretty sure that the one hand clapping thing only works for hairy middle-eastern men with an absurdist, experimental bent.
i also have a sneaking suspision that a fan of myself may also happen to move in other circles as well (brisbane is that kind of place). but hey, whatever floats your boat.
if u use it to score with somebody i may like, remember to share the love, and refer them to the source of one-handed goodness...
by unanon at August 8, 2002 11:29 AM
Screw the musical aspect of it all, I'm more interested in the chick-picking-up ability of the whole one handed clapping thing. And if it doesn't really work, which knowing you Unanon, I'm sure it doesn't, I'll still always be able to use the one hand clapping trick on myself. The end.
by mg at August 8, 2002 12:34 PM
I'm just sayin', I think we're in different parts of the country unanon. I'm sure there are TONS of people that are huge fans of both of us, but they won't be spanning great distances to catch both our shows. mg! Screw the music? Screw the music?!! I'm having heart palpatations.
by Linz at August 8, 2002 2:50 PM
Linz, we're in different countries. (unless, of course, you are in Australia as well...)
i have been lead to believe by eminent people that i have picked up that the amazing abilities attributed to the one-handed clapping are as a result of the mechanics of the action and the accompanying non-verbal gestures, rather than the sound created alone.
i should set up a school...
by unanon at August 8, 2002 10:33 PM
Oh, THAT Brisbane! You should set up a school to teach certain people their geography.
by Linz at August 9, 2002 9:40 AM