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I did it to a Christian Boy
by melly at 12:28 AM on July 06, 2002
I asked MG to give me a topic. He said,"penguins". I reminded him that I'm a dumb blonde and he said,"The best time you had in a car front seat or back". And I said,"A-ha! I did it to a Christian boy!"
Names have been changed to protect myself from someone recognizing names and finding out that I did it with this guy.
His name was Biff and he was hot. Actually his name wasn't Biff and he was scrawny and had pimples. But I was sixteen so he was hot. My first everything. Well ... almost.
I had spent my Christmas in misery. This was every year for me and probably why I stopped believing that God had love or a purpose for me. The year it was that I had had my wisdom teeth pulled. I spent a week in bed being a baby. Taking as many of the painkillers as I could before my mom started counting them. I flushed out my gum wounds. Flushed turkey and gravy and stuffing and cranberry sauce. Unfortunately it wasn't as good coming out as it was going in. And sex with Biff was much the same way.
I had been in a self-imposed exile for so long that when I decided to throw myself back into that wild assortment of people I knew at my Christian church, I went all out in my fashion. Clunky heels. White stockings with adidas stripes at the top. Short black skirt. White t. And green panties. Yeah, I don't know what that was about either.
I got to Biff's house. He lived with his parents. His dad was assistant pastor of our church. His mom was a ninny. His sister was a dork who spat at you when she talked. His dog smelled bad.
He was surprised to see me and he was even more surprised to see my outfit. When his dad left the room he grabbed my ass under my skirt and said,"Oh, these aren't pantyhose."
His mom came out and started pressuring us to play poker with the rest of the fam. But he was having nothing of it. In his bedroom he pulled my skirt up,"Green?"
We drove out to the middle of nowhere (which is precisely located between his parents' house and the church). He slammed the driver's seat forward and I crawled in back. Take those off. "Okay" as we religious girls say. He fumbled with the condom because he fumbled with most things that are wet.
He lifted my legs and gave me the Almighty.
I went on with my moaning and moaning when inside I was thinking, this seatbelt hurts, my leg is cramping, I hope he finishes soon.
But he'd never get the chance to, because he fucked up.
His parents' were bored and since he hadn't the patience to play some poker with them before he played poke her with me, they decided to meet up with another couple at the church.
And there we were, two Sodoms at Gommorah in the backseat of a black 89 Mustang and Mr. and Mrs. Ninny could do nothing but throw it in reverse and pray that Melly Magdalene didn't get pregnant with Damian.
addendum: before editing I typed out "White House stockings" which I personally dub the best Freudian slip ever.
comments (29)
Gawd, young boys are so sloppy, I mean, back seat? That's why I have a van, dammit.
by Mark Something at July 6, 2002 4:24 AM
Haha! I too have done the deed with a good Christian boy in the back seat of a car, except I was scrunched up in the back of a '92 Dodge Neon.
Rainy. Sweaty. Hot. Fun.
Ahh, memories.
by Shar at July 7, 2002 2:55 AM
At the same age (but without a car) I came very close to doing it with Korean pastor's daughter, but oh well. We don't always get everything we want. Apparently her father started asking her who this boy was that kept calling the house and that was that (one time he yelled "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY DAUGHTER?!" at me over the phone)
by Adam at July 8, 2002 2:07 AM
Can't believe that. Be careful. I know that's what I want to be. I don't want to get lost. God have mercy on you.
by L at January 3, 2003 11:33 PM
wow like thats not realy all that cool did you say he was a christian thats not cool at all girl.
by sarah at February 16, 2003 3:55 PM
I think you're pretty sad to have to post a sight boasting about you're disgusting exploits God help you
by at March 23, 2003 1:40 AM
I fucked a Christian boy in the back seat of a car too. Truth be told the Catholics are the most fun.
by Philo at March 25, 2003 12:35 AM
The second time I boofed this chick it was in the back of a 92 Dodge Spirit, we went to a construction site and turned all the lights off, and had at it. Fogged the windows up and hoped the neighbors didnt get curious. (I'm a good Christian boy).
by Erik at April 27, 2003 2:06 PM
Hey! Wow that's really something to boast about....
Just because we're Christians doesn't mean we're perfect. You've also gotta define what christian is. Going to church doesn't make you a christian, neither does your parents.
Only a relatiohsip with God through Christ.
You're story isn't that exciting........ it's actually pretty sad... i mean if you can only boast about bangin' christian guys... i'm sorry....
by Christiaan at September 22, 2003 12:02 AM
Christiaan, what are you doing up past midnight. God's going to be mad. You're not properly taking care of his temple.
by Ezy at September 22, 2003 12:49 PM
What if I skip Christ & have a direct relationship with God? Is that cheating?
by Linz at September 22, 2003 4:13 PM
i'm too old for you.
by the lord at September 22, 2003 4:15 PM
God damn it.
by Linz at September 22, 2003 4:19 PM
i will not. and watch your language.
by the lord at September 22, 2003 4:20 PM
Yes, this is a great blog.
by mg at October 8, 2003 9:48 AM
funny story... and everyone saying all these comments about how disrespectful it is to God and everything... get over it! im a christian too.... everyone lives their life how they want to, thats a right we have... lol geez louiz... just because one person is one way doesnt mean everyone is that way...
good story though...
by wiredx at December 1, 2003 2:13 PM
obviously that boy wasn't a very good christian if he was having sex. Sounds like hypocrit.Ever heard of practice what u preach???
by itsasecret at December 8, 2003 9:56 PM
i went on a date one time and she drove and we went to the movies and then after that we went to the mall untill it closed then we went out to the truck and i started fucking her hard in the mall parking lot it was fun
by jon at April 5, 2004 4:00 PM
Haha! I think a more appropriate title would be: A "Christian" Boy Did It To Me
I don't know about the blonde part, but the dumb part was right on.
If your boss told you to eat a shit sandwhich, would you do that to?
I have second-hand embarrassment for you.
by Uncle Buck at July 1, 2004 4:14 AM
i agree. saying you did it to a "christian boy" i guess it's odd cos he came on to you first by grabbing your *ss and so on. then again, your dressing could have been interpreted as a "coming on" on him as well. it's a story i guess.
by Fergus at August 30, 2004 3:50 PM
Man.... That's so sad! I can't beleive you would do that. May God save you.
by Melly Despiser at May 6, 2005 7:33 PM
That's so cool! I wish I could F*** u right now!!!!
by SeXXy!!! at May 6, 2005 7:35 PM
i think this page is disgusting, everybody should be ashamed of theirselves. i think that unless you get right with GOD then u will all be in hell 4 eternity. god bless each one of you, i hope you pray 4 forgiveness
by christian at May 30, 2005 1:22 PM
Well, I happen to have been that good christian boy. Only I was the one that was seduced. She got me drunk for the first time in my life ( also the first time that I had ever drank alcohol period) and when it wore off, I found myself having the best time of my life in her uncles living room. Note that he was sleeping in the very next room. I WAS a virgin..... Well, I guess nothing lasts forever. Well at least four years later she is still sedcing me. Only this time we both wear rings...haha.
by Dan at October 27, 2005 6:19 PM
Might i add that I knew I was wrong to drink, get drunk, and to be alone with her in the process. I was raised with what was right and with what was wrong...but still did what I wanted to. I say the best time of my life ony because I am married to her now. If it hadnt worked out between us, it would have been one of those bitterswet memories that you only hope you dont have sometime in the future when you do find that right one and your both having sex. Im one of the lucky ones that had it all work out the way it should. Now...instead of her dragging me away from God...were both serving him faithfully. I just pray that christian boys quit letting slutty girls get the best of them and stick to the Godly way in which they were raised. No offense to my wife of course. Man that makes me sound old. Just so you know...Im only 22. Maybe that will help some relate.
by Dan at October 27, 2005 6:30 PM
wow kewl story well im 13 so i betta hurry on bye!!! wooo go me im kewlness!!!
i love Mikey mwa!!!!!
by alvin at January 18, 2006 1:57 AM
wow kewl story well im 13 so i betta hurry on bye!!! wooo go me im kewlness!!!
i love Mikey mwa!!!!!
by alvin at January 18, 2006 1:57 AM
hey i lyk siging dis thingo!! im sooo fukin sxc!! i love ma baby boi!!! i miss him soo much..right now im on msn tlkin 2 adam he is a FAG!! an im tlkin to Spaity she is madass an im tlkin 2 mi baby boi i love him soo much !!!! ohh ahh kewl story an i havmt fucked any1 yet im still w8ing 4 da rite guy...
by Hot little Baybee at January 18, 2006 2:02 AM
I agree with you christiaan, but it's not just about being in hell forever, enither about making GOD sad. it's about YOURSELF.. doing such things doesn't harm anyone but you. that's why God himself asked us not to do it. he's the one who created us. and the best one to write the MANUAL for that machine which is the bible.. so, not working according to that manual will affect the machine
by TONLERINA at April 30, 2006 8:44 PM