Adventure in a strange planet - Part 1

by chunshek at 10:11 PM on July 10, 2002

How do you call a Bad Samaritan who only posts sporadically? A bad Bad Samaritan?

Well, this Bad Samaritan went off for his nomadic training for two months in a distant planet. On this planet, one rarely found chicken. Everyone would be looking all over the place for chicken all the time, because, after all, everything else tasted like it. But no, for the poor people who live on this planet, if they ever found chicken more than twice in a year, they considered themselves lucky. They had to settle for hot dogs. They looked just like regular stray dogs, but would burn your fingers if you touched them. So the people on this planet poured relish on the dogs and drown them with it first.

The people on this planet were very sincere people, but sometimes, their work pattern could be quite different from that with which we are currently familiar. You see, these people abided by the unwritten rule that nobody works if the sun is up. Okay, that is not a big problem, you say, they could just work at night. But no -- you see, on this planet, the sun was up all the time. It just swung around in the sky like a dog chasing its tail. In fact, for one whole month I didn't see any darkness at all, because the sun never got tired chasing its own tail. So, on a sunny day, everybody would decide that they stopped working, and went paddle around in a puddle of steamy blue water.

One day, some little people with dark hair in yellow shirts came to the planet. A few big people with blond hair then kicked their tiny backsides out, because the other little people from halfway across the planet (the enemies of the little people in yellow shirts) paid those few big people to bully them. Once people learnt about it, some other big people with blond hair started wearing yellow shirts as well and danced on the street corner. Every street corner, there was a big person with blond hair dancing in his crazy yellow shirt.

It was funny to see the big people with blond hair dancing on the street corner, because, frankly, they weren't quite as authentic as the little people. To start with, they were much bigger than the little people with dark hair! So I was watching the big people at the street corners when a guy with brown hair ran into me like a speeding car into a cliff. He is not very big, but not very little either. I told him, "look where you're going!" Then he said, "oh, I'm sorry. I was just trying to see if I can find a street corner without those big people pretending to be little." I said, "well, you're not going to find it here. Let's go somewhere else." So my new friend and I strolled along, and tried to look for a street corner that was not already occupied by a big blond person in yellow shirt dancing like the little people did...