A Vindication of Descartes

by snaggle at 12:43 AM on July 22, 2002

One of the classic cans-of-worms in philosophy is the so-called "mind-body problem." Dating back to the Greeks, it deals with a metaphysical separation of the mind or soul and the body. Proponents of the separation talk of the differences between the mental and the flesh, and some, like Descartes, constructed entire belief systems soley upon the fact that mind existed and could not be doubted (while corporeal existence they decided could not be taken for granted, somehow.)

Later philosophers haven't been as close of followers of this Cartesian separation as Descartes's contemporaries. However, there is definitely one area in which the flesh is distinct from the mind: sex.

As if you couldn't tell from that long-winded introduction, I'm feeling rather pensive tonight. I can't put my finger on exactly why I'm feeling this way (though I rarely have a reason and pensiveness isn't a stranger to me.) For the past month or so I've been in heat. Yes, I think humans go through heat just as some animals. Tell me that you don't feel more horny, sexy, powerful in spring. Thought so. There are times of year when everything just looks much more attractive and spreading your seed seems to be on your mind every 1.3 seconds instead of every 3.4 seconds. Other guys I've talked to have noticed this phenomenon as well, and, like all of them, I measure it in the frequency I need to release the demon.

There's a problem with this, however. While my body's in heat, it's no difficult feat to beat the meat. And that's fine — heat is all about sex. But after that feeling passes, after the season of rampant hormones, there's something else. There's the emotional side of everything.

Hence the separation of mind and body. Sure, you can wank off twice, thrice... Christ, however many times a day you want/can. But there's no way to masturbate your emotions. A little porn can be a solution for the need to release sperm, but there's no way to masturbate away your need for snuggling, kissing, waking up next to someone, human touch, or the need to feel cared for. There's just no substitute. Some turn to rampant sleeping around for relief. While that works for a while, it's still no solution.

Sigh. Yeah, I'm in a "pining for a boyfriend" mood again tonight. Sorry I had to drag you all into it.