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The Ultimate Peace?
by eric at 07:29 PM on April 03, 2002
I've heard the jokes shooting around for the last week as Israel and Palestine got down and dirty. Most center on the theme that this little dry ass spot of desert everyone is in such a quandary over is actually the birthplace of several major religions. All of which preach "peace." Ha, ha, that's a good one, God.
Even if they can't agree on borders, there's one thing that all religions can agree on, whether Christian, Buddist, Muslim, or Jedi, is that money rules. So here's how to fix the Middle East. Give the entire area a make-over ALA central Florida and build the RELIGION WORLD THEME PARK. Each major religion with a tie to the area gets a cut. All the major important spots are protected by becoming instant tourist traps. Kids can by "Ramallah Rocks" shirts in the gift shop. And everyone's happy. Imagine the attractions....
The area is screaming out for water slides and flume rides. How about a section near Hebron called HOLY WATER WORLD?
The West Bank is crying out for a makeover like WEST WORLD. No one can turn down anamtronic Yul Brynner robots, especially if they're in turbans.
While the area is admittedly a few miles to the Red Sea, followers of Muhammad will thrill to the twist and turns of the MECCA COSTER.
For Christians, it's Xmas year round in Bethlehem's barn-busting spectacular: THREE KINGS STAGE SHOW, featuring Donny Osmond, there on special release from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints... our home-grown American' religions don't want to be left out of making some bucks.
Except for the Scientologists. Those crazy bastards already have too much money because of Cruise and Travolta. Though I bet they'd build a helluva space simulation ride.
comments (7)
Don't forget the Gaza Strip Tease adult nightclub ... and while they're at it, Orlando's got The Back Street Boys... The Middle East needs a boy band of its own! Someone's got to come up with a clever name for this...
by Laura at April 3, 2002 8:37 PM
Boy Band: It's gotta be The Apostles.
by Lauren at April 4, 2002 1:18 PM
JC and the Holy Land Band?
by Laura at April 4, 2002 1:45 PM
too bad each group thinks the others will give them 'cooties' if they touch each other...
I still think nuking it to a nice, glassy memory we all can share equally is the only/best answer to the problem...
by jenn at April 4, 2002 2:09 PM
Anyone who has ever been to that part of the world tends to find themselves bemused that anyone would actually fight over such (pardon the pun) God-forsaken real estate. I know I was.
As for band names:
Yasser and the Holy Warriors
Yarmulke Boys
Boom! There it is!
C4
Short Fuse
Jhiad Boys
by northstar at April 6, 2002 11:12 PM
Well, the fact that people are still fighting over this land after thousands of years, must mean it really is holy. Or at least special. For those of you who've been, did you feel it?
by mg at April 7, 2002 1:22 AM
Hehe, you are on the right track.
I'll vote for you in the next elections.
Thanks very much !!
by Easter Bunny at April 18, 2003 10:19 PM