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shar

Penis Radar - The Survey Guy

by shar at 07:53 AM on February 14, 2002

I've been living at home for almost two months now and I still can't believe that a) I don't have a job yet, b) I haven't killed anyone in my immediate family....yet, and c) I'm still single. You know what that means? The return of Penis Radar.

So I walk into Goodwill when I see a tall, lean, sideburned dude working the register. Did I mention he had cute Buddy Holly glasses? Did I mention that his real name's Coy? *insert girlish squeal* Anyway, we ended up bonding over terrible Goodwill art (a framed airbrushing of Barbara Streisand), but we didn't exchange digits.

A week passes. I was thinking of going back and asking him out, but I first had to take my semi-annual trip to the mall for some corporate whore clothes. Who do I run into? Coy, wandering the mall, trying to get people to take a product survey about a fat-burning lotion. Turns out he quit Goodwill and gives surveys for cash. "This must be a sign!" I thought, as we snickered our way through the survey. After I had given my number for the survey, he delivers this egg:

"So, can I call you for a follow-up?" Tee hee.

He calls me Friday night while I'm getting ready to go out. I was a little distracted and rambly because I was missing a sock, but he laughed and said it was fine while I rambled incessantly about the damn sock. Coy said he'd call back, but he hasn't yet. At the time, it seemed the conversation was cute and he thought I was delightfully flustered, but now that I think about it, it probably went like this:

Coy: So, what are you up to this weekend?

Me: ACK! WHERE IS MY SNOWFLAKE SOCK?!? MUST FIND THE MATCH!!!! COMPLETELY WORTHLESS WITHOUT ITS MATE?! FUCKHELLFUCKHELLSOCKWHERESOCKWHEREWHERE!!!

It's been almost a week, and to nobody's surprise, he hasn't called me back. Really, is it any wonder that I'm alone AGAIN this Valentine's Day?

comments (11)

Happy "Painful Reminder of Being Single" Day everyone!

I gave out N'Sync valentines. Tee.

by snaggle at February 14, 2002 11:47 AM


He's good at finding employment....I think he's a keeper, Shar.

by tj at February 14, 2002 2:44 PM


If I were a guy who'd just met a girl the week before Valentine's Day, I'd wait until after Valentine's Day to call her back.

You know, to save money on flowers and candy. .

by mg at February 14, 2002 2:55 PM


Good point mg. Same thing goes for the winter holidays - you don't want to go buying presents for someone you just met.

by westernexposure at February 14, 2002 3:49 PM


i think mg's right, shar. and if you don't hear from him next week, you just go out and get him.

by miss b at February 14, 2002 6:42 PM


No, it's the sock thing. Psychos are scary.

by Charles at February 14, 2002 11:36 PM


no, no, Charles, psycho girls are hot. or is it hot girls are psycho? i can never remember.

by kd at February 14, 2002 11:51 PM


Psycho girls are FUN. But they're not for everyone . . .

by Charles at February 15, 2002 12:43 AM


so have you called him???

go for it!!

by kittenesh at February 15, 2002 3:09 PM


email me

by mikee@ptdprolog.net at July 1, 2004 7:32 PM


if you need charity then you've come to the right place! - http://www.charityvillage.com

by charity at August 26, 2005 1:27 PM



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