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If you need me, I'll be in the john with this month's Playboy....

by northstar at 04:59 AM on February 22, 2002

Professional football is about to return to Texas, and some of us are stoked. Not me, mind you, but there are a few people here with way too much time on their hands. Just when people here had gotten the Oilers out of their systems, now we have been blessed with the Houston Texans. Of course, the team has been hyped beyond belief for the past year or so. What else could be done when you don’t actually have a team of real players to cheer for?

As if we needed it, now there will be even more spoiled, overpaid, and coddled professional athletes roaming the streets. Come September, the Houston Police Department will have to go into full “groupie control” mode. It won’t be pretty.

I get through my more melancholy moments by telling myself, “Oh well, you can’t afford tickets anyway….” This may or may not be true, but I feel better afterwards. The ticket prices aren’t the only hurdle; you first have to pay for the privilege of putting down yet more money to buy tickets. They’re called Personal Seat Licenses, where you spend an obscene amount of money for nothing save the right to spend yet more obscene sums of money. God, I love America! Where else would you have to pay simply for the privilege to be able to spend more money? And you thought Enron was top-notch when it came to separating people from their money? Au contraire, mon ami….

Come September, I’ll be in my easy chair, watching the Texans get blown out in the air-conditioned comfort of my own home. And the money I could have spent on Personal Seat License? Ah, maybe I’ll just make a down payment on a Lear jet….

comments (4)

Gotta love sports. When the Texans win their three games next year, I'll be the first to blame it on David Carr. Nothing good ever came from Fresno.

by jesus at February 22, 2002 8:53 PM

Professional football is about to return to Texas. You mean about to return to Houston, don't you? Granted, the way The Cowboys have been playing "professional" might be stretching it, but . . .
The Houston Texans? Hehehe.

by Charles at February 22, 2002 10:31 PM

Congratulations!! This is the first time I've heard the words "Cowboys" and "professional football" used in the same sentence in years....

by northstar at February 23, 2002 9:00 AM

Hey now the Cowboys are/were not ALL that bad! Grant it I live in Dallas and have been to several games (if you want to call them that) but they are good sometimes. But Houston NEEDS something right? (can you tell I am not a fan of Houston?) but they may actually surprise us all, though I won't hold my breath but you never know...

by Pristine at February 23, 2002 12:01 PM

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