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I'd like to thank myself for this award.

by jasmine at 12:23 AM on February 28, 2002

So the Grammys are on television as I write this, I would normally be watching but I have better things to watch like the movies I bought today, (Ghost World and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).

By this time, I would usually be very much engrossed in the Grammys doing my annual count of how many times people "thank god" when they accept thier awards. How are people so sure that 'god' is really helping them win thier awards, I think god (who by the way in my world is Jerry Garcia) is sitting back laughing at thier asses, but then again this is my world.

I have no real ambition to be a musician, but I would be one just to win some sort of an award. In which I would not thank god but Satan, "Because, If I wouldn't have never sold my soul to him I would still be selling crack on the corner and living out of a box in an alley. Or I think I would still be living in my parents basement. Which ever fictional story pops into my head first.

Or better yet, I'd just like to thank myself "Because, If I wasn't such a damn good musician all of these suckers wouldn't have bought my album making me filthy, filthy rich. So rich that I just burn hundred dollar bills for the hell of it while my man whores wait on me hand and foot."

Or at least in my world things would go like this.

But this years Grammys have not blown completely, Jon Stewart is the host and he is my hero, well actually 4th down on my hero list after Paul Rubens, Dennis Miller, and George Carlin (who is also god, in a very ironic way).

By the way, I have been watching for 10 minutes and people have thanked god twice. The tally continues.

comments (3)

What was the final count jasmine?

by quicksilver at February 28, 2002 10:35 AM

compared to last year's grammys, this one sucked. 17 performances (17 for god's sake!) was waaay over the reasonable limit. also, get rid of those retarded categories that nobody cares about (ie 80% of them); this is one case in which diversification is NOT a good thing.

the grammys also sucked this year because U2 lost the album category to that damn O Brother Where Art Thou? soundtrack (O Brother, indeed!). that album sucks because 1) it's a country album from 2) a movie starring George Clooney, and 3) it's by a group called the Soggy Bottom Boys. anybody who says that album is good is most likely just saying that to get on the bandwagon (ditto to alicia keys' album, although to be fair, i do actually like her a tad). so U2 got side-swiped on that one.

it's too bad the clash weren't nominated for anything. i suppose you need to release something to be eligible, but details like that are retarded for an association that consistently gives Bob Dylan props for albums that suck (he should just stay in the '60s where he belongs).

as for Paul Reubens, Pee Wee Herman was a comic god.

by Matt at February 28, 2002 5:42 PM

Jasmine, your weak. You don't have a world. God made this world so you can burn with SATAN if you want to. Burn for the rest of eternity, how does that sound? HUH? Can't hear ya! It's great for you to thank YOURSELF but not Satan. If your world was real it would be turned upside-down . I'm not saying earth is perfect but you sure ain't. I know I'm not either but you got some nerve talking about JESUS my SAVIOR that way. He'll make you pay, watch.

by Kala at July 2, 2002 8:00 PM

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