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Five Touches or you´re the sun who makes me shine

by mg at 11:56 PM on February 05, 2002

I'm guessing none of the staff feels comfortable posting on top of my last post, and really, I can't blame them. Pretty heavy stuff.

It's hard to know when it's appropriate to get back to talking about Bloggies and boobies after someone has died. It may seem like there will never be a right time, but if you don't get back to living your life, you may as well have been the one to have died.

You may think me sick, twisted and heartless, but I have to go back to being me. In fact, I'm going to be über frivolous for the next couple of days. There is a time to cry and a time to laugh, and the line between the two is thin. I'd like to hope I'm not about to cross it.

A while back Dodd started a meme called Five Songs. In my continual need to make everything that is pure into something all dirty and icky, I’ve combined his basic idea, which is to pick five - and only five - songs you can never get tired of, no matter how many times you hear them, with masturbation. My meme, “Five Touches” asks you to pick five, and only five – people who you’d never get tired of masturbating to, no matter how many times you cum to them.

To paraphrase Dodd, "The way I mean it, a person can only make this list if, after whipping your cream five times in a row, it would be just fine with me if I started fishing for zipper trout right away. If I stroked it again the next day, and the day after that, I'd have to be able to still audition the hand puppet again the next day - and I have to have good reason to believe that I'll still feel that way about the person six months or a year from now."

This isn’t about the person you’d most like to hang out with, or most like to marry. This is about an unattainable goal, and a face, body or voice that gives your helping hand a helping hand.

So, anyway, here is my list:

1. Kirsten Dunst

2. Drew Barrymore

3. Natsuko Tohno

4. Natalie Portman

5. Bjork

Well, that’s it. Easy, huh?

Got a blog? Post your list, then let me know you've done so and I'll put your list up here and link to it. When you post your list, please link it to this page so that others can join in on the fun.

If you don't have a blog you can just email me your list and I'll post it (plus a link to your URL if you have one of those boring old static pages).

It is a common perception amongst men that the ladies don’t ride their own mule down the Grand Canyon. I personally know this to be untrue. So, women, you are not exempt from participating from this meme. You must submit your list of “Five Touches.”

comments (16)

"It is a common perception amongst men that the ladies don’t ride their own mule down the Grand Canyon."


by melly at February 6, 2002 12:12 AM

Ooh. I feel so... dirty.

by Muad'Dib at February 6, 2002 2:54 AM

Kirsten Dunst has no lips.

No. Lips.

Doesn't that bother anyone but me?

by space at February 6, 2002 11:39 AM

no lips bothers me tremendously. although, i think kirsten dunst is beautiful. ...in that hyper waspy kind of way.

of course i ride my own mule down to the grand canyon (i worry about those that don't). and so far, nobody does it better. i've had years of practice.

by miss b at February 6, 2002 4:01 PM

I've never really thought about famous people whilst stroking it.

Does "Mum" count?

It's a JOKE people!

Usually it's anonymous. Someone I saw standing in line at the market, at the gym, or just a "type" I am in some perverted mood for . . .perhaps a diner waitress that takes me back to her trailer. Oh man . . .I call off this damned, dirty game. It will go much further into my subconscious than anyone needs to.

Though, Denise does have some hot friends. Wouldn't be prudent to include their urls....I don't think.

Although I don't actually think of celebrities as I get busy with mr. happy, check out these I linked to yesterday. Daddy like.

by Charles at February 6, 2002 10:55 PM

oh honey, you're so much better than your dad, charles!

by lana c. at February 7, 2002 12:06 AM

I only agree with one of your picks mg. I will leave it up to you to guess which one.

For the record, I have no idea why anyone thinks Drew Barrymore is attractive. I think that she was an ugly kid, and she's grown up to be an ugly adult.

by westernexposure at February 7, 2002 2:14 PM

My list is not open for discussion. Shit, no one argued with any of the "Five Songs" lists. If everyone has got a problem with mine, why don't you all come up with your own "Five Touches"?

by mg at February 7, 2002 3:24 PM

I hope you only visual Bjork in her Academy Award's stork outfit.

by Eric G at February 7, 2002 6:03 PM

yeah. i have to say, i tend to think of real people rather than celebs. people i've been with, usually. but when i go home tonight, mg, i'll see what stars i can come up with and i'll get back to you.

by miss b at February 7, 2002 6:23 PM

Charles, Billy Bob is so damn lucky.

by MrBlank at February 8, 2002 4:27 PM

Oh yeah, has anyone else made their list? Mine? I usually like to wait and jump on the bandwagon.

by MrBlank at February 8, 2002 4:29 PM

Aww Bjork is so damn cute. Thanks for the link.

by Kyrsten at February 15, 2003 3:52 PM

Nice web page... ! Natsuko Tohno....she is really pretty !

by Bill Rose at March 2, 2004 7:37 PM

I usually think of chicks i've banged, like yeah, when her legs were like that and she was moaning like a dying mule. But Anna nicole smith always gets my goat, or latino chicks, mmmm Taco's

by Phoenix at July 18, 2004 2:52 PM


by BOXMAN at April 25, 2005 6:55 AM

comments are closed