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mg

but there were planes to catch and bills to pay

by mg at 12:18 AM on February 13, 2002

It may be some sort of sickness, but I spend a lot of time thinking about how old I am. Now, I知 not really that old. I知 just a lad of merely 25 years (nearly 26, start setting aside money for birthday presents now, you致e only got two months to save).

It is kind of morbid to think about my age so much, but I do.

I think about how I知 closer now to 30 than I am to being a teenager. I think about how I知 coming up on my 10-year high school reunion. I think about how if I were to die tomorrow people might not say 滴e died so young. I think about how if they were . I think about how even my youngest cousin is shaving now. I think about how it痴 getting less and less appropriate for me to date a 16 year old.

But most of all I think about how at this age, my life should be all figured out already. I should have a great job, wife, a couple of kids, a house in the suburbs, and of course, and a Suburban. Isn稚 that where people my age are supposed to be?

My mom痴 friend痴 kids are all already married with a kid or two of their own. But they are all at least a couple years older than me. Besides, I致e never been kicked off the New York Police Department for taking bribes either, so I think my mom won稚 be bitching about grandkids for a while.

People in my demo are living their lives on television; Zander on Buffy is getting married, Angel on Angel has a kid now, and all those people on Temptation Island have no, they池e just sluts. I suppose I shouldn稚 bother comparing myself to TV, though. My life, to this point, has been nothing like a television show (though it occasionally resembles an old episode of Joy of Painting), why should I expect that to change now?

Still, it seems as if I should have things a little more figured out. Society insists that 25 is adulthood (I can rent cars now without paying extra!). How come I still don稚 feel like an adult? How come I致e got nothing figured out?

Society may tell me that I知 supposed to be an adult, and I guess I feel like an adult. Or at least I feel as if I can pull off a pretty good public imitation of one, as long as no one finds out that I still watching cartoons every Saturday morning, consider cereal an appropriate dinner, and laugh whenever I hear farting noises.

My only consolation is that I know a lot of people like me (but not exactly like me because I知 unique, my mommy told me so) and none of them have got it figured out yet either. These are people my own age; friends and acquaintances who are just as confused as I am.

So, I figure, as long they don稚 figure their lives out (find great jobs, meet Mr/s Right and start a litter of offspring) I知 okay. I値l still be a screw up, but less obviously so. Well, Melly popped out her kid the other day (and he is the puffed-cheekiest).

It痴 spun my whole world out of control. Melly is 3 years younger than me, and now she痴 a mommy. I知 happy for her and all, but damn, one more person in the world to envy. Still, I致e solace in the thought of watching Recess and talking Transformers with little Mathew.

comments (16)

Don't worry about the Jones's. Get out and do what you want. You're still young enough to do anything and since you aren't married or have kids, nothing can hold you back.

by MrBlank at February 13, 2002 10:15 AM


my daughter, age 19, informs me she does not want children till she's 30. she wants the time being young, single & unencumbered (she lives with her boyfriend but still keeps her stuff elsewhere, she's that phobic about settling down). she is wise beyond her years though. as she put it, 僧om, i can't even take care of a puppy.

be young. have fun.

by kd at February 13, 2002 11:54 AM


I wqent through much the same set of concerns at 25. And at 30. None are settled yet, just shy of 33. The big dirty secret all those adults kept from us when we were little is that they didn't really have a clue, either. They were just winging it themselves, but with better liability insurance.

by Muad'Dib at February 13, 2002 2:27 PM


MG, I tell myself while the teens were spent under the influence of pop culture and the early 20s were spent testing chemical tolerances, these approaching 30 years must be for getting ducks in a row. For me getting things straight requires much self reflection and critique. Unfortunately I too sit around stewing about what I should be doing at 25. Then I go to Wal Mart, see people trying to cart 3 kids, a basket, and a spouse around and I suddenly feel better in all my unattached, suburban-less 26-dom.

by JP at February 13, 2002 2:55 PM


that Xander should now marry is quite ok, but vampires don't make babies !

by leez at February 13, 2002 3:36 PM


I'm older than you,

am still not "settled down", even though I married...whatever "settled down" means..

Have yet to figure it all out..

Whatever "it" means..

by Toxiclabrat at February 13, 2002 5:22 PM


Hi there Mr. Geezerman... drink lots of milk, because at your age, you need the calcium. Dont want that hip getting any more brittle. Oh, if you should happen to die tomorrow... can I have your kidneys?

by Tom at February 13, 2002 7:05 PM


Hell Dude, I'm 34 and don't plan on ever having kids, living in the suburbs, or driving a Suburban.

I think about how it痴 getting less and less appropriate for me to date a 16 year old. Oh man, it is so way beyond inappropriate at this point. No, all you can do now is worry about thelegal consequences.

And I sure hope Melly keeps her kid away from that Disney kiddie propaganda shit. All my friends do - at least the ones who are decent parents.

by Charles at February 13, 2002 7:09 PM


I don't believe that anyone really gets it all figured out. I think that there are those that know more at 13 than others will at 78.

I used to see certain people that had something in their eyes. They were the ones who "got it," I somehow knew they discovered the meaning of life, I hoped that I would join their ranks someday.

Living, though, it seems is more tricky than life itself as a theory.

But, man, I know almost NO ONE at 26 that's married with kids and a suburban. I mean, a few people, but they're the exception and not the rule. I'm 23 and married but I wouldn't call myself suburbanite or "encumbered." I'm living for me, with someone else, clueless and happy about it. Mysteries give me something to think about on bus rides.

by kittenesh at February 13, 2002 9:54 PM


Song = Cat's In The Cradle, by Ugly Kid Joe... ummm... I mean, Harry Chapin

by Tom at February 13, 2002 10:26 PM


kittenesh -

that's . . .damn almost poetic. why have I never noticed you before? What haven't I ever seen your brilliant weblog before? Hmmmm? Very nice.

by Charles at February 13, 2002 11:24 PM


Ha! Now I see your site has only been active for 3 days. Well keep it up girl!

by Charles at February 13, 2002 11:26 PM


I'm a survivor

I'm not gon give up

I'm not gon stop

I'm gon work harder

I'm a survivor

I'm gonna make it

I will survive

Keep on survivin'

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm just some dumb blonde who got knocked up.

Disney? Oh No. Nothing but the Spice Channel for my boy. We will put extra emphasis on masculinity in this house.

by melly at February 14, 2002 11:28 PM


heehee. i temporary disabled, then killed my old site.

no, wait, greymatter kindly did that FOR me :)

sank you. sank you. i read more badsam now.

by kittenesh at February 15, 2002 3:13 PM


man, i'm 38..no kiddos and no s.o. at the moment. i get bummed about it, but ...hey, at least i'm in charge of the remote.

by undertoad at February 16, 2002 9:37 AM


Hey, I'm thirty eight, no kids, drive an escort station wagon (paid for - hauls around more than some of the so called 'utility' vehicles on the road today - and gets great gas mileage doing it), self employed, never married, eight years of college, no degree...

.... did I mention no kids?

Life is good.

I hated turning 25.

I have a feeling 50 migh rock me a bit. But I am looking forward to 40 as being definative. I know who I am. I know what I am for and against. (geez, listen to me... I am woman hear me roar...)

Anyway. In my experiance, it is when you quit looking so hard for stuff that you find it. Relax.

by jenn at February 19, 2002 7:03 PM



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