doesn't it suck to beat a guy who isn't trying?

by mg at 05:52 PM on January 16, 2002

I’m the best Webmaster ever.

Now that I’ve got a job, I’ve actually got money to do things, like eat and buy electricity. Hmmm, electricity.

I’ve also got money for other things, like finally giving something back to the legion of loyal Bad Samaritan readers. And so that means I’ve got money for a great prize for the winner of the Big Bad Samaritan Tag Line Slogan Motto Contest Challenge (BBSTLSMCC for short).

More amazing than the fact that I’ve got a prize for the winner, is that I’ve actually got a winner. This stupid contest started more than a month ago, and I was beginning to think the damn thing would never end. But it has ended, thank god.

So, with only slightly further ado, I’ll announce the winner. First, though, let’s announce the fantastic prize the lucky winner will get. This is really exciting. The winner of the Big Bad Samaritan Tag Line Slogan Motto Contest Challenge wins and all expense paid trip to New York City, for a dinner and a night out on the town with none other than me, mg.

Isn’t that an amazing prize? Aren’t you all drooling in anticipation? Who is the lucky winner?

With 15% of the 168 votes cast (what the hell, there should have been way more votes, you lazy bastards!), the winning slogan is "We put the -Hotter Than Texan Poontang- in HTTP."

Sexy.

The winning slogan was submitted by none other than Eviltom, of frequent comment and chat room fame. Tom wins an all expenses paid trip to New York, from his home, coincidentally enough, in New York, for dinner and a night on the town with me. Your Metrocard is in the mail Tom; give me a call whenever you want to claim your meal.

The first runner up slogan, which would take the place of the winning slogan if, for any reason, it was unable to perform it’s duties, is “Not with a bang, but with sort of a coughing, sputtering sound,” submitted by Muad’Dib.

In a three-way are Snaggle, Wendy and Chuck. Respectively (though not at all respectfully) their submissions were “Don't hate us because we're beautiful, hate us because we spit in your salad,” “This hurts us a lot more than it amuses you,” and “We did it for Jodie.”

My personal favorite, “Keeping to a strict regimen of Oreos and internet porn” (submitted by Bambi), came in a close 4th, which, unfortunately, doesn’t even get her up on the medal stand along with the rest of the winners. Poor Bambi is back in the locker room, taking an early shower. Hey Bambi, need help washing your back?

The Mrs. Congeniality award goes to “Help Yourself,” (submitted by D.), which, through some error in the Ballot Box script didn’t receive any votes. Sorry D. You, the rest of you losers, and the never-rans, have always got next year (or the next contest, to be announced later this week) to look forward to.