« Androgyny ? | Main | i’ve got nothing to say »

space

Stalking to the beat of a different drummer

by space at 10:24 PM on October 21, 2001

"If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, and endeavors to live a life which they have imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

Sounds like good advice, doesn't it? The problem is, when Thoreau advanced confidently in the direction of his dreams, he didn't have to worry about anti-stalking laws, restraining orders, guard dogs, and Chris Judd's fists (still, that's easier than what I was up against when she was with Puffy). Let's face it: as a goal, Walden Pond is pretty reachable, unlike, say, certain Hollywood celebrity mansions. Building a cabin on your buddy's property, yeah, you're a tough guy. Is that pretty scary, fighting off the squirrels? You ever underestimate how many tranquilizers a rottweiler needs?

Yeah, so you spent a night in jail because you wouldn't pay a poll tax. Big fucking deal. I spent two months in prison, and another six in a psych ward! I painted 398 pictures of her in art therapy, and sent her every last one! That, my transcendentalist friend, is endeavor!

You want to live deliberately? Sponging off your mentor and taking long walks ain't gonna cut it my book. Try setting out to win the heart of a pop-culture princess! Try sneaking into her home while she's asleep! Try mailing her sawed-off bits of yourself! See what kind of success you can unexpect doing that!

In short, fuck you very much, Henry David Thoreau, for your inspirational words. If I advance confidently within 500 meters of my dream, I'm gonna spend all my common hours for the next three years afraid to drop the soap!

(To be fair, Thoreau firmly believed that the government that governs best, governs least, so I suppose he would have been on my side as far as the legal issues go. Down with anti-stalking legislation!)

comments (3)

This is why I do most of my stalking over the internet - so much harder to prosecute.

by kd at October 21, 2001 10:28 PM


tisk tisk...we now know who he loves....sigh looks like he is now taken ladies....so write this one off the deep end...ahahah Good one space, I like.

:-)

by Pristine at October 22, 2001 12:12 AM


JLo is mean to her stalkers. She never wrote me back, either.

by SwingCheese at October 22, 2001 11:12 AM