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just call me snaggle manson
by snaggle at 08:46 PM on October 20, 2001
I have a confession to make to all of you: I am a mass murderer. Yes, you read that correctly. I have ended the lives of many innocents, and it appears that I’m not going to stop. I show little remorse and little compassion for those whose lives I end without a thought. I don’t even hear their plaintive calls for deliverance and for me to spare their lives. It bothers me not when I hear the small noise that means their life has ended. I do not derive pleasure from it, but I can’t stop. You may thus from hereon out address me by my crime:
Snaggle, the Ladybug Murderer.
My room is really odd. I think the windows have large cracks in them or something, for every afternoon there are twenty or so ladybugs crawling around my window. Normally, I’m a pretty peaceful guy. I don’t go out of my way to harm things (unless they’re spiders or centipedes or other creepy-crawlies. Actually, then I still don’t go out of my way to harm them – I usually scream and run away and then try to get my big butch roommate to kill them.) Ladybugs, especially, are pretty harmless. I’m not fond of any type of insect, but I might go so far as to call them cute. Besides, who couldn’t love Denis Leary as the gruff ladybug guy Francis in A Bug’s Life?
Be that as it may, I’m also fond of having a lot of light in my room, since otherwise I fall asleep and drool over Nietzsche (which just isn’t a good idea in any way, shape, or form.) So I have this floor lamp that I usually have on in addition to the overhead light in my room. A few weeks ago, I kept hearing this little tink! noise coming from the lamp. I look at the bowl-shaped light director on the top and discover that ladybugs, attracted to the light, flew to the lamp and fell in, promptly dying from the heat of the bulb. “How sad,” I thought, but I didn’t turn the lamp off or do anything about it. Ladybugs kept falling in whenever I had it on at night, and I didn’t think anything of it until tonight when I noticed a strange odor building up in my room and realized...
My room smells like baked ladybug.
comments (9)
that is so beautiful.
by andrew at October 20, 2001 9:19 PM
Baked ladybugs eh? ack! Snaggle what will we do with you? (and I dare say your fetish with Neitzsche is in the same line as mine with Einstein.) Neither can be a good thing...trust me...:-)
by Pristine at October 20, 2001 10:13 PM
Actually, the Nietzsche might be an anti-fetish.. I meant drooling over as in literally, on top of my philosophy texts. :)
by snaggle at October 20, 2001 10:15 PM
Snaggle -- you -- you monster! Ladybugs are so cute! I, too, am an insect-hater, but ladybugs are an exception - they are so sweet and harmless. How COULD you? *breaks down sobbing*
by kd at October 21, 2001 1:16 AM
Here at my parent's house, there are tons of the damn things. They are everywhere, in your hair, all over the windows, on the lights and lots of them crawling around the inside of the house. We have no idea how they get in.Strange thing is, they will all be dead in a day or two. Its like those May Flies that swarm and live for a day, then die and leave massive piles of their dead bodies.
by MrBlank at October 21, 2001 3:47 AM
Ok snaggle here is the thing:
(1) If your drooling over your text books, what were you "looking" at to make you drool?
(2) If it is that your drooling over philosophy, we have the same problem as I mentioned above.
It can't be a good thing, no sir it must be some kind of...ok forget it, you can tell I read too much of all of the above to make any sense whatsoever! :-)
by Pristine at October 21, 2001 11:37 AM
Are you sure they are ladybugs? They could be Asian Beetles. They are basically the same thing except the Asian Beetles are more of an orange or brown color than red. I had a ton of them in my room last spring too. They are almost impossible to get rid of. They get behind everything. I tended to vacuum them alive. Anyway, I thought they were lady bugs too until my sister said I was dumb and that they were Asian Beetles. Okay, I'm not a biologist.
by MrAnonymous at October 21, 2001 6:59 PM
You know, they just could be Asian Beetles. Well, baked ladybug, baked beetle, same difference. They're still annoying. That makes me feel better, though... at least I'm not harming any cute widdle ladybugs, just annoying pests that pretend to be ladybugs!
by snaggle at October 21, 2001 8:38 PM
Yeah, those Asian Beetles smell bad, too, like you said. So, go ahead. Kill those ladybug imposters!
by MrAnonymous at October 22, 2001 12:41 AM