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Denizens of iniquity.
by space at 08:44 PM on October 08, 2001
The lobby still looked mostly like the grand old Chicago theatre the Admiral must have once been. Everything was clean, the brass railings were polished, and even the carpet looked like it had been recently shampooed. The girl behind the counter was getting an impressive effect from her push-up bra. Her breasts could have auditioned as an extra in Amadeus. "Have fun, guys" she chirped at each of us as we paid the $20 cover and walked past a too-hip-to-notice-we're-in-a-strip-joint couple browsing the in-house adult video store.
It's kind of surprising how quickly you can get used to the presence of a large number of naked women dancing, standing at tables, shimmying out of clothes, and leaning over to breathe on and stage whisper to almost perfectly still men. I'd never been in a strip club before this, but before long, it got to feel like a perfectly normal thing, like it was just the theme of another party. It's a beautiful naked women party! I could get used to that.
Maybe not the prices, though.
We bought our mandatory four dollar sprites and settled in at a comfortable spot. The stage and runway were flanked by a pair of statues of, wait for it, naked women. They got cursory licks from the performers at times. Maybe some kind of performance superstition? I don't know.
Time passed. Women danced and chatted with us.
Guy1: "Hey, look at that one. In the red."
Guy2: "Yeah. Hot."
Guy1: "Yeah, but doesn't she look familiar."
Guy3: "She looks a little like Jamie."
Guy1: "A lot like her."
Guy2: "Ohh. Not so skinny, though."
Me: "Who?"
Guy1: "Jamie. She lived on our dorm floor freshman year."
Me: "Oh. Never met her."
Guy3: "Looks just like her."
Guy1 "Excuse me, hey,"
Passing Stripper: "Yes, sweetie?"
Guy1: "Can you ask that girl in the red to come over here? No offense."
Passing Stripper: "None taken. Sure thing, I'll get her."
Guy2: "Oh my God, if that's her. . .."
It was her.
Lots "OhmyGod"s and "Oh. My. God."s were exchanged. She sat in Guy1's lap, and they chatted for a while, laughing and smoking. After a while she stood up.
"Watch this."
She moved down to the main floor, past the other tables and girls dancing, and, waiting for a certain tilt of the head from the girl on the walkway, climbed up to join her.
Everyone in the place ignored the girls working the floor during that show. Including us; we didn't even look up at the offers. We know her, we told them. Lucky boys, they told us, laughing and tousling our hair.
There's nothing odd about five guys with erections just sitting there together, is there? As long as we're not looking at each other, except to laugh and say "holy shit?"
When she finally disentangled herself from the other girl, we started to breathe again and she resumed her spot in Guy1's lap.
"Oh god, that was so hot."
"You liked that?"
"God, we loved it."
"Good. Borrow a cigarette?"
"Hey, so can I get a lap dance now?"
"What? No."
"No?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Sweetie," and she paused to take a drag on a cigarette and shake her head:
"That'd be just too weird."
comments (13)
Oh Space, I hate you.
by mg at October 8, 2001 10:48 PM
I need to get out more often. Or you need to fedex me some of them. And I need to get off the damn computer sometime... so stop writing such good shit, space!
by ethereal at October 8, 2001 11:35 PM
I used to work bartending (briefly, years ago) in one of Dallas' premiere "Gentlemen's Clubs." You get desensitized to the nudity very fast. Every guy thinks that must have been an awesome job. There were fun moments - but when every dance is getting naked and it is only for money, a lot of the allure disappears. I've always prefered getting into a girl's head as well as her pants. I don't know if working there added to this feeling or not. Of course, most of the dancers weren't exactly Sarah Lawrence material (no offence to any dancers out there.)
by Charles at October 9, 2001 1:04 AM
Wow, of all the strip clubs in Chicago, you picked The Admiral?
Damn, you sure did your Best Man homework. A plus.
by Shar at October 9, 2001 1:45 AM
Five guys, with erections, just sitting there. Vivid image. Thanks!
by kd at October 9, 2001 2:25 AM
classics!
by Capital J at October 9, 2001 5:16 AM
I agree with Charles, it's amazing how quickly one gets used to seeing naked women wandering about. Within a few minutes of walking in, it seems. That having been said, sounds like a pretty cool club. At least, better than around here. Did they have pole dancing? I really want to learn how to do that. *sigh* I just can't see myself stripping for money, though.
by SwingCheese at October 9, 2001 10:59 AM
Five guys, with erections, just sitting there.
Excellent image. I think I saw a porn once that started that way. Either that or a sex dream.
by snaggle at October 9, 2001 5:04 PM
i don't know, professional strippers are so... jaded. i'd far prefer getting normal women to take off their clothes and prance around for me to music. anyone have any idea how to get someone to do that?
by miguel at October 10, 2001 7:38 AM
how much are you paying, miguel? i'm dead broke, get paid jack SHIT for teaching, will travel to exotic locales for work. . .
but, then, i'm not normal.
by m r h at October 10, 2001 3:04 PM
I know jamie. She's a slut with no tits. How the hell does she get paid to flash them at people?
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