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good morning, ventura...
by lizard at 01:58 PM on July 19, 2001
so i woke up this morning at around 7am, remembered i didn't have to get my son ready this morning, & went back to sleep. all the way asleep, with a full-on dream in which it was raining & i was looking at this amazing apartment, it was huge & cheap & had the biggest bathroom i'd ever seen & a deformed but very friendly poodle. there were lots of wonderful places for my computer to go, cozy little nookish places. i was enchanted. i started figuring out where i was going to come up with the deposit & then i woke up again, at 8:45, quite refreshed & well rested with only a little of that sinking feeling of being very late. no one's ever sat me down & said ‘be here at this time & work till this time’, & usually i'm semi-reliable in spite of that & well, that's all that can be expected of me without me being a disappointment, i'm afraid. however i do try to get there by 8:30, so 8:45 is not the optimal time to wake up.
i am nothing if not an efficient morning person, though, & years of being always running late for something have honed my getting ready skills to the fine science they are today. i am under 15 minutes from the time my feet hit the floor to walking in door at work. & that under fifteen minutes includes discovering the bathroom door locked, picking the lock & forcing the door open because my son has barricaded himself in there & is methodically peeling the backing off of a box of panty liners & stacking them on the toilet lid. i don't have time to get really mad & besides i'm more confused by this than anything else, so i quickly put the backings back on & scoot out the door.
feeling absurdly good, i begin my usual first-hour-of-the-day catching up on email & so forth & yeah i do weblogs from work & so what? then i realize what is missing in my system. coffee. easy enough, i mention the word starbucks to my boss, who gives me money & tells me to sneak out the side door because bringing him coffee is ‘official company business’. he's only the coolest boss in the world because [his words] he is in love with me. take advantage of this? me? someday i may explore the ethics of this situation but in the meantime i go for iced venti caramel macchiatos with extra shots & extra caramel & on the way back jammin’ with ratt, round & round, & hoping spilling sweet sticky milky coffee on the shift lever isn't a bad thing. time will tell. & do you have any idea what four shots of espresso will do to the well rested body & mind? oh my.
mg told me i should have something to say when i sat down to write on b.s. he didn't say i had to have a point.
comments (11)
I obviously didn't say to use proper grammar either. My bad.
But seriously, welcome abouard, if I haven't already mentioned it. You realise, you've already posted more in a week than shar and snaggle have all month.
*cough* *cough*
by mg at July 19, 2001 11:40 PM
While you're doing all that writing, write your "about" page so I can fantisise about following you and meeting you and calling you and stalking you and then getting yet another restraining order - which to me just means the chick is sttarting to warm up to the idea that SHE WILL BE MINE FOREVER. Heh.
4 shots . . . and sugar? Man! Even I rarely do more than a triple.
by Charles at July 19, 2001 11:50 PM
whoa - my very own potential stalker! well i can't say i don't have it coming, not by a long shot.
umm...bad grammar? well, yes, i do take my liberties on occasion, but here let me show you my poetic license.
by kd at July 20, 2001 1:08 AM
Poetic licence is one thing. I'm all for the taking (and giving) of poetic licences. But poetic licence is one thing and:
years of being always running late for something
is a completely other thing. I can't say what exactly is wrong with that statement, though I did graduate college with a degree in English, but I know something is wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.
by mg at July 20, 2001 1:35 AM
I surely was gladdened to see k.d. get that cyber scolding from mg on her usage of grammar. Sour grapes? Yes, because she has cakled rather gleefully at my grammar before as well. So there! *BUT* I am equally gladdened to see her her here on bs. Yes mg, she is, and always has been, prolific. She blogs like bunnies....oh well, you get the idea.
by mic at July 20, 2001 2:20 AM
please forgive me, i was terribly, terribly caffeinated at the time & it seemed like the thing to write.
by kd at July 20, 2001 2:42 AM
Can I also rescind your license to use the ampersand? While I've been a very naughty boy and not posting, I have still been editing mr. mg's stuff. Except for the past couple days because our outside world connection at work went dead. Ampersands are evil things.
However, any post that talks about quadruple carmel macchiatos can't be all bad. Gosh I'm such a snob. Ignore me. I haven't had any coffee today... kd can definitely understand that one.
by snaggle at July 20, 2001 10:25 AM
unfortunately both the ampersand & the all-lower case affectations are reflexes at this point in my life. sounds like just laziness but it's more than all that. i only write ‘normally’ when i am nervous or depressed. however, if this really, really, *really* bothers you, well, ... i'll just apologize frequently, ok?
by kd at July 20, 2001 11:32 AM
We'll have to see what our editor-in-chief says about that. Although if he's looking to punish me for not posting very much, he could want me to correct everything. *shudder* Sometimes I hate the fact that I'm a grammarbitch with many grammatical pet peeves. *sigh*
by snaggle at July 20, 2001 11:38 AM
i can see how all this grammar-related stress could really interfere with the whole summer of sin thing, too. my advice (as always unasked-for & uncalled-for) is: relax, let it go, be young, have way too much fun, ingest any substances necessary to facilitate this, & post many entertaining posts about it afterwards.
by kd at July 20, 2001 2:05 PM
Mmmmmm..... suuuuuuuuuuubstances...........
by snaggle at July 23, 2001 9:52 AM