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Penis Radar
by shar at 09:57 PM on June 17, 2001
I've been single for about a year now, and in that year I've been given one of the lamest superpowers ever: Penis Radar. I have a heightened curiousity whenever boys walk into my direct line of vision. It doesn't matter how they look or who they are, if they've got a penis, I'll immediately run up to them and see if 1) if they're cool and 2) if they're single. While it is a lovely way of meeting people, Penis Radar is quickly losing its novelty. Unfortunately, the only cure for Penis Radar is one of those crazy Relationships. Until then, strange side effects like whacked-out dreams, lusting after celebrities, and having crushes on random boys will continue to plague me.
Enough for now. Here's the first installment of Penis Radar.
Penis Radar: REM with Pete Sampras
So I was in Kansas City with Doug and we were crashing on the floor of my friend's place. I wake up and Doug's sleeping bag isn't 2 feet away from me, but right next to mine. I sleepily look over, and Pete Sampras is in the bag with his head propped up with one arm. He's grinning like a monkey, as he's been watching me sleep and also finds me ridiculously adorable. Pete invites me to share his sleeping bag. Before I know it, I'm making out with Pete Sampras (who, by the way, is a damn good kisser.) I need to catch my breath, so I pull away a little bit and open my eyes and it's not Pete Sampras anymore, but Doug. I'm confused, but I figure, hey, I did go to bed drunk and it's frickin' dark in the room. Maybe it wasn't Pete Sampras the entire time. We start kissing again.
Then I wake up. I look over and Doug's still sleeping a few respectable feet away from me.
What the fuck does this mean?!? It's been on my mind ever since it happened. Ugh.
comments (6)
I didn't know wet dreams were supposed to mean anything beyond being horny. Gee, all of these years and I have been wrong?! Nah, not possible. ;=)
by Lilly at June 18, 2001 2:33 AM
I didn't know make-out dreams qualified as "wet dreams." I guess saliva is moist, and God knows I've woken up enough times with my face stuck to the pillow and everything clean and dry, if hard, down below. Did I type that or just think it?
by space at June 18, 2001 3:46 PM
How many other people don't want to ever see pictures of man-brain, Pete Sampras' or otherwise, on this site ever again?
by mg at June 19, 2001 5:48 PM
shar u dont need pete any way i want u 2 suck my cock and let me get u in the puss all night i think u r so fucken hot
luv, mr big dick
by cory at December 28, 2001 9:39 AM
shar u dont need pete any way i want u 2 suck my cock and let me get u in the puss all night i think u r so fucken hot
luv, mr big dick
by cory at December 28, 2001 9:41 AM
the first was good
by kawa at May 1, 2003 1:04 AM