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"I carried a watermelon..."
by snaggle at 11:36 PM on June 05, 2001
I have a confession to make: I love dirty dancing.
I have another confession to make: I love dirty dancing with girls.
Yes, you read that right. I bump 'n grind with girls. To some of you, that sounds perfectly normal. Of course a gay man grinds with straight women. And some of you are scratching your heads at this moment with a quizzical countenance. Why would I dirty dance with straight women?
I went out last night with a bunch of friends, and enough of them, women and men, seemed incredibly distressed/confused/befuddled by this odd seemingly heterosexual hip gyration, so I'm here to set the record straight (pardon the term) for once and for all: it is a rule that gay men must grind with their straight female friends. It's just a rule. "Normal" dirty dancing can be a little odd; who wants to see a couple having sex on the dance floor? However, when it's a gay man grinding with multiple women and all involved parties are laughing their asses off, one can only come to the conclusion that this is, indeed, a G-rated event, rather than the hormone-drenched sexcapade normal grinding is. So women: do not be afraid or confused when your slightly drunk (or very drunk) gay friends starts molesting you on the dance floor with an "atomic crotch," as someone called it last night. It does not necessarily mean he is a 6-pack hetero; quite likely he is just asserting his sexuality. "Look! Look! I can dance provocatively in very sexual ways remeniscent of prurient fleshy encounters with women and not be turned on! All you homos who are watching, come get me! I'm single!!"
Or maybe that's just what I seem to shout. Hrm. I should probably do something about my raging sex drive. It always seems to get me in trouble (especially if candy necklaces and alcohol are involved.)
comments (4)
So now where the hell does that put me? In the middle, I suppose, as usual. I really should just pick a side of the street to walk on. Heh.
by Charles at June 6, 2001 1:39 AM
Well, if Snaggle is allowed to dance with girls because it doesn't change his body's blood flow, then someone who sits on the fence (figuratively, literally, take your pick) shouldn't be allowed to dance with anyone.
So, sorry Charlie, no dancing for you!
by mg at June 6, 2001 11:38 AM
Damned fenceriders... always confusing us. "He's cute" .. okay, he's gay. "She's HOT!" ... he's straight? "I wanna do that guy!" Eh? NOOO!!! It's one of those evil BISEXUALS!!!
by snaggle at June 6, 2001 3:45 PM
I have a mate who runs a website called www.truffleshuffle.co.uk and they've just got this new line of tees in from dirty dancing!! I have the one that says 'nobody puts baby in a corner' which is awesome and they've just got a new one in (should be on the site in the next couple of days) which says 'I carried a watermelon.'
Just browsing the net searching for dirty dancing so thought you might be interested!!
by Claire at September 14, 2005 9:51 AM