by mg at 09:06 PM on June 30, 2001
Did you ever have one of those days when everything seems to go wrong?
No? Well, fuck you, Miss Perfect Pants. Why donít you just shut down your computer, go outside and turn the world on with your smile, we donít need your kind here.
Now, for the rest of you, this, obviously, has been one of those days for me. I really just feel like that Peanuts character that walks around with a black cloud over his head, getting rained on all the time. And I canít even say, ďThis or that big awful thing happened.Ē Because, really, nothing big and awful happened. The day was full of little awful things that built up to one miserable time.
When I woke up this morning, well, this afternoon, it smelled like something had died in my bedroom. Iíve got this problem. I donít know whether it is a medical condition or what, but when I sleep, I sweat. A lot. It doesnít matter whether summer or winter; hot or cold; clothed or nekkid; alone or with partner; night or day; I just sweat a lot when I sleep.
Iím not a big sweater during the day, but when I am sleeping, Iím dripping. Sometimes I I wake up thinking I had a nocturnal emission, until I realize it is just my crotch sweating. Anyway.
I though, at first, that the smell was me. But it wasnít. After I got all wet and naked, I still smelled that ďdead thingĒ smell in my bedroom. I poked around for a bit, and couldnít find whatever it was that died, so I just lit a candle and went on with my day.
Iíve been waiting for two weeks for my last paycheck from work to show up. At the beginning of last week my boss had even called to tell me that heíd sent it out. Yet, when I went to check my mail today, still no fucking check. And, I really need the money. Iím starting to think that my ex-boss was just messing with my mind.
Which brings me to the next event. When you are unemployed, the mailman is one of your best friends. I check my mailbox three or four times a day, because, the Internet is boring, and snail mail makes me happy. When I went to check my mail today, my paycheck wasnít there, as previously reported. Not only that, but of the five pieces of mail in the box, only one of them was for me!
I got mail for three of my neighbors, plus something for my aunt and uncle, who havenít lived in this apartment for more than two years. The one thing in the box for me was, drum roll please... a notice that my bank account was overdrawn.
See what happens when you write checks that your ass canít cash, Michael?
The bank sends you nasty letters.
Well, lucky for me, kind of, I had just the day before gotten a whole lot of cash (like US$1,000) that Iíd loaned to someone a while back. That person was supposed to return it to me months ago, and is totally on my shit list right now for fucking up my credit since Iíd written all these checks thinking I would have gotten my payback by now. Just you wait, deadbeat, Iíll be getting my payback on you pretty soon.
So, all that money needed to get deposited into the back today, but as Iíd lost my ATM card a couple weeks ago, the only way to do that was to physically go into the bank. I have not physically entered a bank in over a year.
I hate going to the bank. Theyíve got such god-awful hours. I think on Saturday, they close at 3pm. So, if I try to get there around 1:30, I should have plenty of time to take care of business.
So, to kill some time, I decide to fuck around on the computer a bit, which just thoroughly bored me. To relieve my boredom, I decide to do my taxes, which are now more than two months late. Iíd filled them out back in April, and remember that I was supposed to be getting back a ton of money this year. When I dug around the piles of paperwork in my ďto doĒ pile, I found that I had, in fact, not filled out my taxes after all, but just done a bit of the math involved.
After spending a bit of time filling them out, I realized Iíd messed up on the math the first time around, and Iím supposed to get back about US$300 more than I was expecting. Which is the one and only good thing to happen today.
So. I take my cash (to deposit in the bank), my taxes (to drop off at the post office), and as happy a disposition as I could muster (so I didnít snap and kill someone while running my errands), and left the friendly confines of my apartment to trip out to the world to take care of business.
To begin with, itís about 500 degrees Fahrenheit out. For those of you in countries with the metric, that relates to about 9000 degrees Celsius. If I thought I was sweating a lot last night, I was sweating just as much the instant I stepped out of my nice comfortable air condition enabled apartment.
Needless, I was soaking by the time I got to the bank. Which is closed. Apparently they close at 1pm, not 3. Fuck. Iíve done this a million times. I always think the bank closes at 3 when it really closes at 1. When will I learn? Probably never.
I walk on over to the post office, another two blocks away, and am just about to drop my letter in the little mail chute when I noticed Iíd forgotten to put a stamp on it. And of course, the post office also closes early on Saturday. So, of the three things to get done on my daily excursion, Iíd already struck out on two of them.
The next thing to do was to buy some groceries since Iíd run out of food a couple days before and had been subsisting on stale saltine crackers and the cans in my cupboard thatíd long ago lost their labels. The grocery buying, at least, went off without a hitch.
Then, I just came home, turned the air conditioning way up, pulled the blankets over my head, and waited for the day to be over.
I also broke a glass. And I'm starting to feel a little sick.
Hmm, writing all this stuff down, it seems that nothing that terribly bad happened. But, there is always tomorrow to look forward to.
"Another reason for your night sweats may be -- you might have guessed -- hormones, which can cause sweats as a result of marked changes in progesterone. Before menstruation and during ovulation the level of progesterone rises, making your basal temperature go up, causing sweats in some women. Similar symptoms also can happen before and during menopause."
glad to help!
by space at July 1, 2001 1:22 AM
dude send me your address (re: snail mail)
by L.J. at July 2, 2001 3:15 AM
such a beautiful layout! good job, mg!
by lex at July 3, 2001 6:33 AM
hey space you dumb fuck, mg is a guy, just look at the picture beside his name at the beginning of the post.
by flispide at July 3, 2001 9:57 PM