Pikachu and a declaration of asexuality

by mg at 01:37 AM on May 25, 2001

The front page is up again. Does that mean things are back to normal? Tough to say exactly.

In the sense that life goes on, day after day, then I suppose things are back to normal, whatever that might be. But the fact is the events of the past couple days, stretching their tentacles back through time to the events of one tragic night, have changed me. Among other things, I’ve made a promise to myself and to Kaat that I will be more thoughtful about what I say and who I say it about. I will not break that promise.

Will I be able to be the Bad Samaritan without being a bad person? I don’t know. I think I can. Will you, my regular readers, continue to be amused and entertained (if you ever were to begin with) if I refrain from overstepping the boundaries of common human decency? Yeah, I think you guys will be laughing more than ever. I say that because all this time you've been coming back here, it hasn't been for what I've said, but for how I’ve said it.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see, won't we?

Those of you that have been reading for more than the last few days are well aware that I make fun of myself far more than I have ever done of anyone else. I don’t need the outside world to be the target of my words. I have always talked about myself constantly, and began this stupid website to do just that - to write about myself. I’m kind of a narcissist that way. Yet, for some reason, I am also constantly cutting myself down. Like all good humour, mine is one part reality and one part self-deprecation. I'm what psychologists might call a "self-deprecating narcissist."

And that kind of fun won’t be stopping anytime soon.

As long as I'm stuck at a job that I hate, the jokes won’t stop. I asked a couple weeks ago why I was so unable to quit a job that has made me absolutely miserable from the very moment I started it - a job that has caused me to start smoking again (after more than 6 months without!) and that gives me a stomachaches every morning I have to get up and go into work.

I couldn’t come up with any logical reason then, but maybe in the back of my mind I knew that were I to quit, I wouldn’t have much to talk about. It’s either that or the fact I like having enough money to pay for food and electricity. Food is good and having material is good. It’s one of those two reasons, kind of a toss up, really.

Additionally, as long as I fall asleep each night spooning with a Pikachu plush doll rather than a warm and cuddly Zia, errr, woman, I'll have plenty of raw material available to me from my own pathetic love life. I'm in the middle of one torrential dry spell. Not only have I not met someone to love and spend the rest of my life with, I’ve not even met someone with whom I’ve wanted to have a meaningful fifteen-minute flirtation with.

So, here is a declaration for everyone to read: Mom, Dad, I'm an asexual. Your grandkids will be budding soon. To the world: Please remember to water me regularly and keep me out direct sunlight.