the evilest day of the year

by mg at 03:56 PM on April 20, 2001

Today, Friday April 20, is the evilest day of the year.

First, it is some kind of pot-head holiday. Supposedly, a “420” is a police radio call for “pot-smoking in progress.” Today, being the 20th of April, the 4th month, is a big deal. At 4:20 pm, because no pothead can wake up at 4:20 am, drug addicts around the world will light up in celebration. Within minutes they will have completely forgotten what they were celebrating, thinking it just another Wednesday afternoon.

Second, and next evil, it is the second anniversary of the Columbine school shooting. On this day in 1999 two stupid and confused kids did something horrible. What is even more horrible than the actions of those two kids is that it provided Marilyn Manson with a career. He'd have faded into obscurity long ago. Well I guess he already has faded into obscurity. But if parents, school administrators and the media didn't need a scapegoat, because none of them could admit they failed these kids, the good Manson name would never have been sullied by association with Marilyn.

Thirdly, and next most evil, if he wasn't dead Hitler would be 112 today. That is, if he isn't living in Brazil somewhere. That is right, today is Hitler's Birthday. All you neo-nazis should go out and enjoy some Mein Cake. I hope you choke on it.

And, finally, the most evil of all, I've again joined the ranks of the proletariat. Starting Monday, I'm a working man.