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if the glove don’t fit, you must acquit
by mg at 04:18 AM on April 07, 2001
So, what happened to the site the last couple days?
To fully understand the answer, you really need to go back and read the bad advice from last Tuesday. Don't worry, go read it, I’ll be right here when you get back.
You should keep the following statement from that post in mind as you read the rest of this story:
First, find out if the girl has a sister. Preferably a younger sister. As young as possible, but old enough to have hit puberty. In that 13 to 14 year-old range would be optimal. If she does, ask the younger sister to the prom. She will be so glad that an older boy asking her out that she will say yes no matter what kind of troll you are.
Well, the day after I posted that bad advice I received an email. This email supposedly came from the office of the district attorney from Churchill County, Nevada. The basic gist of that email was that my site had somehow been named in relation to a statutory rape case. I thought someone was pulling my leg, so I just ignored it.
Silly me.
The next day, Thursday afternoon, a clerk from the Queens County Courthouse here in New York showed up at my front door with a subpoena that had been filed by the DA in Nevada. The subpoena was to provide a digital copy of the entire site and any and all correspondence I had with this certain person.
Oh shit. This is not a joke. Holy fuck, I’d always kidded about getting subpoenaed and now here I was standing in my front door, shocked, with my subpoena in my hands. My neighbors were looking at me funny. I was just standing there incredibly shocked.
The name and email in the documents wasn't anyone I knew. It wasn't the kid who sent in the advice in the first place. It wasn't anyone who has ever emailed me. At this point I really had no idea what was going on, only that I was somehow involved in a rape.
I didn't know much but I did know that I was incredibly screwed.
I was kind of lucky because I’ve got a strong background in media law. The law class I took at university is the toughest class in the journalism department. The semester I took it the professor made a kid cry, right in the middle of class. I however, got an A in the class.
More importantly, I worked on the student newspaper for 3 years. Eventually I became the publisher of the paper (The publisher is different than an editor. A publisher is in charge of all the managerial and business decisions. The editor handles the writing. If I was the editor, don’t you think my writing would be of much higher quality?). And fortunately for me now, but unfortunately for me then, the paper I worked on was a defendant in 2 lawsuits while I was there. I personally got to know a lot about media law and I got the chance to work with one of the best media lawyers in the country.
So, in an absolute tizzy, and this has been the only time in my entire life when I’ve been in an actual tizzy, I called one of them up. I explained to her what was going on and she had me fax over the injunction and forward the email. I did all that; and she looked it over and called the Churchill County DA’s office to find out what was going on.
[ meanwhile, back at the server ranch ]
At the same time I was getting a knock on my door and being served a subpoena, the company that hosts my website was getting a knock on their door as well. They got a notice, similar to mine, to provide information to the Nevada DA’s office.
This kind of freaked them out, and I suppose it should have. When one your clients is involved in a criminal investigation it is always bad. And when one of your clients is involved in a criminal investigation that directly involves the product that you are providing them, well, if you are smart, you try to wipe your hands of that client as quickly as possible. So, they shut my site down. I can’t blame them I guess. I just wish they would’ve let me know about it beforehand so I could have told all you people.
Well, my lawyer called me back after she talked to the Nevada people. Here is a brief synopsis of what happened: This high school kid was sitting in a computer lab on Tuesday. He was reading my site, and saw that bad advice post. He called his friends over to look at it and they were all laughing because one of them was really having sex with his ex-girlfriend’s younger sister. The teacher overheard them and reported the kid to the school administration, who then called the police. Charges were filed against the kid and the DA’s office started building their case, which is where I came in.
So, after hearing this I was, needless to say, very happy. Not only was the bad advice I wrote not the cause of a rape, but bad advice I wrote was the cause of a rapist being caught. How cool is that? This is the kind of thing they give medals for, isn’t it? This puts me up there with Superman as the greatest heroes the world has ever know!
Anyway, I felt better that I hadn’t done anything wrong. And once the entire story was explained to my hosts, they agreed to put the site back up. Good for them, defenders of free speech! I will be sending a couple floppy discs to Nevada, certified mail, Monday morning, but otherwise, everything will be back to normal. Well, except for one thing.
My lawyer told me that from now I should be a little more explicit when I am giving advice. I need to make sure that people really understand that it is bad advice. I’d thought that it was pretty obvious from the fact that the title of the column is bad advice and that the advice is so, I don’t know, bad, that no one should actually follow it, but my lawyer made me promise to be more careful.
So, there will be no more encouraging people to have sex with 12 year-olds. I swear.
comments (11)
First, you shouldn't say a rapist was caught - innocent until proven guilty and all that. And was the girl 12? How old was the boy? Sounds like a lot of puritanical sex paranoia bullshit to me.
Personally I wish when I was 12 some hot 16 year old had wanted to have sex with me. I would of been like - OK.
by Ralph at April 8, 2001 8:41 PM
I live right across the street from a Junior High School and if it was as easy to say that it's okay to have sex with 12 year-olds because they "want it," I'd never bother to date someone my own age again.
Unfortunately, it isn't that easy, nor do I live in Kentucky.
by mg at April 8, 2001 10:26 PM
yo, i'm glad they caught the child rapist because of you. but hey, how come snaggle is still writing for you and not in jail?
by tom at April 11, 2001 2:18 AM
Um...if I (not someone ELSE) were 12 and some HOT 16 year old wanted to have sex with me and I said yes - I REFUSE to envision THAT as rape. I personally have a great DEAL of respect for my horny 12 year old self. Certainly more respect than I have for most people over the age of 18 - who shouldn't be allowed to breed.
by Ralph at April 11, 2001 7:44 PM
>>I personally have a great DEAL
>>of respect for my horny 12 year
>>old self. Certainly more respect
>>than I have for most people over
>>the age of 18 - who shouldn't be
>>allowed to breed.
Nice. And 12 year olds SHOULD be allowed to breed? Frightening concept. I miss being 12 and thinking that anyone over oh, say, 16 sucked. I miss being under 21 and feeling that I can have respect for myself for simply being horny. Now I'm supposed to have a job and a house or something. Dammit. I'd rather just be horny.
by Arrogate at April 20, 2001 3:01 PM
ever thing is fuck up in this world
by jay jay at November 20, 2001 5:50 PM
To whom this may concern;
I'll be honest and confess that I do find the
subject matter of 12 year olds etc... having sex
a bit interesting. You see; the problem with this
subject matter isn't that pre-teens and teens are
(OH MY GOD !!!) having sex. And trust me; most
people do have the, "OH MY GOD" attitude regarding
this issue. However, moving right along... When
dealing with issues such as this. One must keep
in mind that the (average) American, regardless
of financial statis, educational background,
intellect, upbringing etc... is fairly narrow-minded.
And most of us do live in a psuedo-reality. Most
Americans semi-live their lives in a self-induced
delusional world in which they belive that their
shallow personal opinions carry more weight of GOD
ALMIGHTY .
Many of us seem to think that we're the "final"
word and authority. Its funny how we all seem to think
that we're quite the experts; at everything. And most
of us are experts; at nothing !!! We simply like to assume
that we are... Most people, Americans or otherwise.
Deal with the issue of sex as though its the most
horrific, disgusting, nasty, filthy and degrading
thing that somone can do to themselves... Its treated
as though its the "ultimate sin" , and its not.
Not by a long shot... People act as though its the ultimate
"taboo". And to acknowledge sexuall desires, interest etc...
Or to speak above your breath regarding it will mean certain
death or financial ruin somehow. And the thought of pre-teens
and teens having sex most people simply can't stomach
it. And lets not even get into anyone in the above age
group (POSSIBLY) having sex with someone much older...
Most people would be withing a footstep or two
from dropping dead from sudden heart failure from just
the mere thought of it !!! Trust me, I know... Now, what
i'm getting at here is this... Is this the attitude
that we should really have regarding this issue, regardless
of how sensitive we may be regarding it ? Now; before some
(idiot) gets the wrong idea about where i'm going with this.
Allow me to say this. BY NO MEANS AM I CONDONING ANY BREAKING
OF ANY LAWS BY ANYONE. NOR AM I ATTEMPTING TO DOOP, BRAINWASH OR
PULL THE WOOL OVER ANYONES EYES. NOR AM I SICK, TWISTED, DEMINTED
OR CRAZY. This is merely me making a comment if-you-will... Nothing
more.
Now, as I was saying. Is this the correct attitude
and approach that we should have reagarding this matter ?
People, i'm only 28 years of age myself and I can tell you
account after account of young females who have had sex
with males that were out of their league to put it lightly...
(For the lame; yes, I ment these guys were over age, they
were adults)... Did these guys break the law ??? Well;
according to the law, yes ! Absolutely. But !!! are all of these
guys sick in the mind etc... ??? Hmmmm; i'm really not so sure about
that one. Although most people would bsically say, "HELL YES THEIR SICK" !
"And they should be locked up and the key should be thrown away".
"Guys like them should be shot dead" !!! And the list
goes on and on. But !!! Is the "get tuff" "kill their asses"
"throw em in jail for life" mentality really going to make that
much of a diffrence against the backdrop of (reality) and time ???
Well; don't hold your breath for that one. I'll do you a favor and tell
you. NO !!! It will make very, very little diffrence at all.
You see, until the (true) underlining problem is (effectively) addressed.
Sh_t like this will continue to happen... Not because I say so; it just
happens to be the truth. And unfortunantly; thats not what most people want
to hear or agree with. But, buring your head in the sand wont change
the fact of whats happening... Neither will jumping the gun saying worthless
sh_t like; "lock his/her as up". Granted, you may actually stop a few
twisted and sick individuals here and there, i'll give you that much.
But if you guys and people like you were 500 times more effective.
You still wouldn't be able to tap out the majority of this mess.
Whether you belive it or not ,make absolutely
no difference !!! And for anyone to soley rely upon very
misleading government statistics is wreckless to say the lease.
And yes; i'm more than qualified to make that claim. And acurately
so... There are far, far more cases of youngsters having sex with
older adults and young adults than what you could imagine.
And lets be honest about it people... WE ALL KNOW THAT THIS SH_T
GOES ON AND YET WE PRETEND THAT IT DOESN'T AND ACT SO FREAKIN SURPRISED
WHEN WE HEAR ABOUT MESS AS SUCH !!! Make no mistake about it. Just because
you and your friends nor anyone that you may know. May not personally know
of such a case. DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEIR NOT OUT THERE !!! DUHHHHHHHH !
As I said earlier. Its more common than what most of use are comfortable
with knowing.
But none-the-less. Are the men in such cases soley to blame ?
What I mean is; are they the only ones at fault in absolutely
every case ??? (I'm not suggesting that it isn't breaking the law
by any stretch of the imagination)
But you can lock people up until Jesus returns people.
I promise you; this mess will only get progressively worse
regardless of what you and I may want to belive and assume.
Heres a thought that i'm going to leave with you.
If older males are targeted in these cases; why not start
targeting (prosecuting) many of the younger females who (OFTEN)
prosue these guys. Oh; but thats not what you want to here is it.
Understand that in the majority of cases like this (not every case).
It was discoverd to my and others amazement that it was (OFTEN) the
underaged female that was prosuing and seducing older guys.
Let me guess; you don't think thats possible do you ???
The average American just doesn't want to hear this. They'd much
rather belive a lie and a delusion than the truth. Its not the underaged
females fault in many cases is it ??? Oh no, of-course not !!!
I could tell you stories that you wouldn't bvelieve. And there all
real. Dear lord, if people only could know and realize what many of their
young daughters do on a daily basis... They'd be shocked !!!
If a person goes on a fishing trip lets say that the fish are simply not
biting. Chances are, no matter what that person does or the type of bait being
applied; their propbably not going to make a worth while catch...
Take it to the bank. However; if he/she manages to pop that bait directly in front
of fish faces. Well; one of them just might take a bite even though it may not
actually be hungry.
The same thing is completely true for human beings as well.
If people don't start teaching their daughters a few very basic
facts and truths. And stop telling them bullsh_t like " a woman
can wear whatever she wants". "its ok to wear that".
" there are no absolutes " etc... Then this stuff will only get worse
over time. When I was 12,13,14 etc... theres just noway young girls
dress, act and do what they do now. And their bold about it !!!
My how things have changed so quickly. To make a long story short
folk. A lot of this; most of it could be stopped over night
by simply targeting young females... If a young girl is after older
guys and is tempting him and parading around him shacking her little
as_ in front of his face every chance she gets already dressed half way naked...
Well; some guy just (might) give in to her offers...
When he may have initially had no such intensions...
Every guy in this case isnt out searching for young girls to
have sex with...
Thanks for your time....
P.s You cant catch a drug king by constantly focusing
all of your efforts on the little nickle and dimers standing
on the street corners... Because if thats all you're going to do,
then you'll be arresting people forever. And simply put;
that not (real) progress... You have to go one step further to be
as effective as possible. And if thats not your cup of tea.
Then you may as well give it up... You're spining your wheels
going nowhere fast...
by Nino at December 3, 2002 3:47 PM
It would be coll if when i was twelve someone asked if i would want to have sex i would totally say yes
by lamo at April 9, 2005 5:52 PM
cool site! i'll be back. naked truth: http://www.cosmicbuddha.com/blog/archives/001169.html , in a small saucepan
by matthew johnson at October 9, 2005 9:08 PM
interesting site, and very organized too. good work. naked truth: http://www.cosmicbuddha.com/blog/archives/001169.html , in a small saucepan
by matthew johnson at October 9, 2005 9:10 PM
You, me, blowjobs, NOW!
by yes at December 13, 2005 12:25 PM